Tiptoe my words to not upset him, I don’t want to unmasculine his identity.
Sometimes it is best if I am quiet
so he can shine,
I don’t want to shadow his light.
When we fight I swallow what little pride I have so we can make up
and see he can love me once again.
I hate to see him sad,
I hope he never feels like I do sometimes.
My friends don’t understand why I stay if I feel this way. I sometimes I ask myself the same thing.
Maybe it is the how he calls me beautiful
so that I start to believe that I am,
the way no matter what I wear
he seems to take it away.
When we first met he said he will never leave me and if I stay in my place he can never go.
I never want to be alone.
I want him to hold me because it makes me feel worthy: yet I feel worthless
and lonely when he won’t answer his phone, he says I am too clingy, but I barley see him anymore.
When he sees me, we fight because I can never seem to
“let it go.”
Sometimes I am afraid if I leave him he wil go insane.
He says he will die without me and sometimes I start to wonder if he isn’t lying.
I don’t want to go.
He is all I have ever known but I cannot handle being sad anymore.
I see the old photos of us and how happy we were
but it hs been so long since the last time he mad me laugh.
All I do is cry now.
I think it is time for me to finally
“let him go.”