When I went to my overnight orientation I thought that I had found the roommate of my dreams. I thought that we were going to be best friends who did everything together. Oh boy was I wrong. Through 6 roommates over the span of four years and living on two different campuses I have picked up a few tips and tricks to making the best living situation you possibly can at your home away from home. Living on campus can be very fun and your school really does become you second home. Follow these tips and you will never want to go home to mom and dad.
1. Take the first day roommate agreement seriously.
Respect this agreement too. This is when you can tell each other exactly what you do and do not like. This can avoid a ton of issues before they even come out. Most roommate agreements will cover the same basic living arangemenmt topics and your RA will hold on to all of the agreements. If something were to happen and you need your RA’s help, they can pull it out and tell you “Yeah she really is not respecting your wishes” or “well you did say that you were okay with her taking all your clothes and reading your diary”. This is the ground work for the rest of the year together.
2. If you will not do something about it then don’t complain
I believe that this is just an overall great life lesson. Constantly hearing somebody complain about the same thing for weeks straight can be annoying. If that person is not wiling to bring it up and talk to that person about it, than it must not be that big of a deal, so stop talking about it to everybody else. We are all humans and can be willing to listen and work something out that we can both be happy about. A simple “hey I am not comfortable with you walking around naked” can stop a lot of issues and now you don’t have to call your mom every day to complain.
3. They probably don’t know they are doing it
I know you’re probably thinking, “What the heck is she talking about?” Like I said before, we are all human and we all make mistakes. Sometimes we do things without thinking. I know I do some pretty annoying things and don’t realize I am doing them until somebody points it out. Maybe your roommate misunderstood the agreement you guys made and doesn’t even know he or she is making you upset. Just have a conversation about it and assume that they don’t even know they are doing it.
4. Talk to your RA
This is what they are being paid to do. They spend weeks training on how to handle situations and how to manage conflict resolution. If you have tried to talk to your roommate about an issue you have and she wont stop, talk to your RA. They will have a better idea of what the next steps could be to help fix the problem. They will be able to help you out and keep it quiet. They will not go around talking about your issues to other people on the floor. They know to keep it confidential.
5. Relax and do your own thing
Sometimes people just get on your nerve for absolutely no reason. This happens to me all the time. I am just having one of those days were everything is just making me want to scream. Don’t take it out on your roommate. Go for a walk or find something to do on your own to blow off that steam. There is plenty to do on campus to get you away from it all. Just take a deep breathe and remind yourself that this is only for right now. Nothing last forever. Whatever anger or frustration you have will go away and you will be okay.
6. Call home
Whenever anything goes wrong I always get on the phone and call my mom or dad. They always tell me to not worry. Hearing them say “I love you, you will be okay” is almost all I need to get through the struggle that I am having. Hearing my mom talk about what is going on back home will calm my nerves and let me be happier. She will also give me tips on what to do. I have siblings and we’ve fought before and mother knows best?
College is extremly stressful and your living space should be somewhere you can be yourself and relaxed. Don’t feel like you are being annoying or crazy, if you need help just ask. You have the right to your own feelings and to feel safe in your dorm room. You will be okay and you will get through anything!