“You really need to learn to speak up more.”
“When are you going to break out of that shell of yours?”
“Why do you like being alone so much?”
“You’ll never get anywhere in the world being so quiet!”
Have you ever had any of those statements directed towards you? If you have, then you’ve experienced the stigma associated with introversion first-hand. Introverts are often told to change, speak up more, or break out of their “shell.” But why? There have been plenty of introverts like J.K. Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, and Albert Einstein who have left their mark on the world being exactly who they were.
So, I’m here to tell you that you can reach your goals and realize your dreams without denying who you naturally are. What’s the secret, you ask? Learning to manage your “shell.” The shell that causes you anxiety when speaking to someone or stops you from going after a potentially good opportunity. You think you have to break out of it to become the sparkly, talkative, and extroverted person you’re led to believe you have to be. But you can stay nice and comfy in your shell while becoming the superstar you’re destined to be with these words of advice – from one introvert to another!
Introverts may become paranoid at their discomfort with verbal communication, which can be discouraging. But words aren’t everything. You don’t have to be talking all the time to let people know you’re there. Being present and observant, showing up on time, and being able to reiterate all you’ve absorbed through tests, surveys, or presentations is often enough to show your professors or bosses that you are there, you are listening, and you care. Save yourself the heart attack from always trying to get yourself to speak! It’s not always necessary!
Many people see introversion as a bad trait to possess, which could be reason for not landing a job, for example. But what if you became so good at what you do that nobody would have a reason not to hire you? Get so good at it that their ideas about introversion and extroversion go out the window. They’ll just want you to be part of their team!
Many people will underestimate your abilities because you choose not to show them off. When given the opportunity to show what you’ve got, people will be interested because they may have never even heard you speak before. Then when you blow them away with your skills and talent, they will never forget you! It will give you an edge and make you stand out. You won’t just be the quiet one anymore but the quiet one who has something to offer. So whatever it is you’re passionate about, be the best you can be at it!
It is instinct for introverts to want to be alone and away from society, which is fine. It only becomes a problem when it prevents you from going out and accomplishing something. You must gather up the courage to get up, get out, and do what you have to do to get ahead. I understand sometimes this can be quite daunting for us which is why I have my “outgoing face” (a little secret I’ve kept from the world until now!).
With such favoritism towards extroverts, sometimes we introverts have to temporarily fake being extroverted to get ourselves through certain situations. When I feel uncomfortable in a social setting or I can’t seem to find my words, I act like an extrovert by putting on my “outgoing face,” and as soon as I get through it, I’m back to being quiet!
Introverts are known for their keen observational skills so temporarily picking up qualities you’ve seen in extroverts shouldn’t be a problem for many of you. (Admit it, you’ve probably watched them, green with envy at their incredible ability to handle social interactions!) I won’t lie — it’s hard at first because it’s unnatural but, with a little practice, it becomes a very helpful switch you can turn on and off. If you’re trying this out for the first time, start small. Don’t give yourself an anxiety attack! Ask a cashier how their day is going or say hello to someone you pass by. Easy, short interactions with people you most likely will never see again are a good start. Once you master the art of the “outgoing face”, social interactions will become much less challenging!
The biggest piece of advice I can give is to never abandon who you are. It may be challenging at times but you should not see your introversion as a handicap, and you should never see your “shell” as something to break out of. We live in a wonderfully diverse world, and not everyone is naturally inclined to interact in the same way. That’s part of what makes it so great. So to all my introverted collegiettes out there, make your shell your friend instead of your enemy, and show the world what you’ve got!
Check out this Manifesto for Introverts from The Power of Introverts!
Sources:
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