Who conducts better research than an FBI agent? That would be a jealous, suspicious girlfriend (or a bitter ex-girlfriend)*. Let’s admit it, when we want to find out something about someone else, what’s the first thing we do? We go to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or basically any social media outlet to rummage up information. The minute a girl suspects something, she will jump on that social media platform and gather the other girl’s history in less than five minutes.
We’ve all been there. You are so obsessed with finding out answers that you dig your way around these sites until you find something. Before you know it, you are on a friend of a friend’s page looking for ties to someone else. But why do we do it? Why do we cause ourselves all this pain and then cry about it? As the expression goes, “If you go looking for something, you’re going to find it.” If you suspect your guy is cheating, then dissect his Facebook page to no end, and eventually find a picture or post about another girl, do you feel better? Do you feel justified? Vindicated? Do you have closure?
We always have this secret fixation that our partner is guilty of doing something or hiding a secret. So much for trust in a relationship, right? Are you really going to keep digging up old demons just because you still have that fear in your mind? Consider the situation from a rational, objective point of view. Just because they like a picture of another person doesn’t mean they are cheating on you with them. Human contact is still very normal, and it’s to be expected. It’s not as if he’s going to drop every female friend he has for you just because you’re insecure. Your lack of trust in your partner just leads to a tedious and complicated relationship. Feeling a little jealous is one thing but if you constantly have to question where your partner is every hour the day, that says something about how you really feel. And it’s not healthy.
So, ladies, please; the next time you are about to run off and conduct another investigation, keep these few ideas in mind:
- He chose you to be his current girlfriend, and if he is devoting his spare time to you, he is not likely with someone else.
- If you are his ex, do not stalk him and his new girlfriend. If he broke up with you, he obviously doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. Stalking him or his new girlfriend probably makes you appear even less desirable to him than when he dumped you. You could be using all of that stalking effort to spend time with your actual partner; or if you are the ex, you could be trying to move on.
- And remember: as Suzanne Collins, author of The Hunger Games, once said, “For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” Try to find that trust again so you can mend relations with your partner.
*Note: this isn’t just something girls do, but we’ve found that girls are much worse about it.
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