My Awkward Dating Life: Friends with Benefits

The idea of friends with benefits is one that has been epitomized over the ages with Seinfeld and That 70s’ Show, plus many many other media outlets and college campuses. It never seems to end well and it is always much more complicated than it seems it should be. But if you’re determined to scratch that itch (I understand) with a friend with benefits here are some tips that I have come to live by lately.
 
Someone New vs. Someone in Your Past
 
If you’re looking to fool around with someone new, then there are a lot of things you need to cover before you do anything. Have they been tested for all those nasty things you don’t want to get? What exactly does he want? There are so many things you need to cover before you can have fun and it might not even be good in the long run so my advice would be to not waste your time with a new guy if you can have someone you already know.
 
You know what you’re getting with a past boyfriend, you know that they’re clean and you dated in the past so there might still be some spark and chemistry between you two as long as you didn’t end horribly badly.
 
Talk about it.
 
This isn’t something you can jump into without some thought and conversation beforehand. Sure sometimes a fling happens on the whim but for a long standing thing with a guy you have to make sure you’re on the same page. Is there any possibility of this turning into a relationship? Am I going to be able to handle just having sex with an ex? These are some things you have to figure out on your own before you talk to him and then make sure he has things figured out as well. You may not be able to emotionally handle being with your ex in a physical way and not have the emotional relationship like you did before.
 
Maintain a level of friendship
 
Yes, a booty call has its benefits but if you’re involved with your ex make sure you’re not taking complete advantage of each other, it could turn into something toxic that isn’t good for anyone.
 
Finally, don’t get attached
 
Make sure that if you’re looking for a new boyfriend or a new relationship that this booty call doesn’t affect your life. As soon as you or your ex gets into a relationship, the sex has to stop. If it turns out that he gets there first, you have to accept that fact and let it stop. Also, if you feel that you’re trying to get back into the former relationship maybe you need to rethink the whole new relationship.