With help from John Castellano (the long distance boyfriend)
A long distance relationship can be very strenuous at times, but if I were to tell you that it wasn’t manageable to have a successful relationship away from your loved one, I would be lying. Tip number one that I wrote about previously was about learning to trust one another. Trust can take a long time to establish, but like I said before, it is the key to a successful and healthy relationship. A couple should be able to put everything on the table, there should be no secrets, and there should be nothing to hide. Trust can be an empowering force in a relationship, especially when it comes to believing in one another. If you can fully trust your special someone, then you will believe in that someone, and more importantly, you will believe in your relationship. While trust is probably the most important tip for a successful long distance relationship, there are many other factors that come into play. This brings me to my next tip…
Tip Number Two – Take advantage of the time you get to spend together
For all of you long distancers out there, you all know that weekends are usually the time that you get to see your special someone. I want to focus on the weekends because for the majority of the school year, that is the only time that long distance couples get to see each other.
Technology can only go so far. Sometimes you just need the real deal. Some face to face time, some one on one. Some lovin’, some touchin’, and some TLC. Being able to hang out with your significant other in person for some quality time can be incredibly refreshing.
Now we have to be realistic, this isn’t always going to happen every weekend, and it might not always happen every two weekends. But when it does, man, does it fly by. Weekends have never gone by quicker. When I’m with my man I don’t even feel like time exists. That is until it’s Sunday and I’m packing my bags to head back to Kalamazoo, or I’m walking him to his car so that he can head back to Illinois. Either way it’s the worst part, and an instant push back into reality.
What my boyfriend and I have learned through this experience is that when one of us visits the other, we try to take advantage of every single second that we have together. I want to start by saying a big part of this has to do with time. Spend as much time together as possible. If I’m watching TV, I want him to be watching TV with me. If I’m going to the bar for the night with a group of friends, I would like for him to be at that bar. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times to spend apart and you want to make sure to spend time with your friends as well. But, it is so important to cherish and take advantage of the time you can spend with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Besides, time apart is spent when you guys are miles away.
Aside from time, variation is the next most important factor. Change it up, do new things together, do fun things together. Most importantly, steer clear of falling into too many repetitive patterns. My boyfriend and I do as much as we can when we’re together. For example, over the past month or so, we have been to Florida for vacation, we have seen a concert, we go out to dinner, we play miniature golf, and sometimes we just stay in and watch three episodes of Lost. When I said that you should spend as much time together as possible, I wasn’t kidding. Don’t think there aren’t less expensive things to do. Also within this month, in my relationship there were a whole lot of movies in bed, cuddling, kissing, and last but not least, pillow talk, like the kind that Kid Cudi promotes.
Honestly, the most important thing you can do as a couple when you are together for those short weekends is to tell each other how you feel. Whether it is, “I missed you so much,” or, “You have no idea how much you mean to me,” just get it out there, show your affection, and most certainly, DO NOT hold back. Enjoy the time you spend together and try not to ruin it by fighting too much. Because when you are miles apart from them later on, all you have are those memories to keep you going.