Getting Over Him: A WMU Confessional

It isn’t your fault, you’ll find someone better, he’s an ass, it will get easier, insert motivational speech here.

I’ve gotten a lot of these pep talks of this kind this week after being blindsided on Monday when my boyfriend of eight months broke up with me. And yeah they help but at the same time you’re thinking; I don’t want someone else, I want him, I don’t want it to get easier I don’t want this at all.

I’m writing this, not as a plea to get him back, and I’m not hoping that he’ll read this because I know he won’t. It’s for all of you that smile when you have no reason to, and to express that while I’m hurting I’m still moving on with the help of my friends and family. And they give good advice so I’m passing it on to you.

Not Talking

The biggest and hardest thing that comes with a break up with is not being able to talk to him. You’ve talked to him every day, in my case every day for eight months. And now you’re supposed to not call him? It’s painful to say the least but the best advice I’ve been given over the last few days is to not give him the satisfaction of calling him. He’s not calling you, he expects you to call him. Just don’t do it. It will make you feel worse than you did before when you realize that he’s okay.

So even if your friend has to take your phone for the night (thanks Kellie) so you won’t call or text that’s okay. Because the next night you might not have to give your phone up. Every day it gets easier.

Get Motivated

It’s easy to get into a slump of happiness when dating someone but now you’re on your own whether you like it or not and you have a chance to evaluate what you’ve been doing for yourself.

Apply for a new job, I did and I got it! Make new friends, get all your homework done. There are so many things you can do, and you can’t tell me you don’t have a laundry list of things you’ve been putting off.

Change

Change sucks, obviously. But it can also be a good thing. Cut or dye your hair, get a new outfit or shoes, join a new group on campus (I hear HerCampus is looking for writers). Do things that don’t involve him and you’ll be surprised how proud you are of yourself for doing things for you and how it isn’t the end of the world like you thought it might be.

Stop thinking so much!

Seriously this is the tough one. You are worth so much more than you think right now. You feel like crap I know, but wallowing in your sorrow isn’t helping anyone. If you find yourself getting lost in thoughts get up and take a walk, (thanks again, Kellie), do homework, do anything to get your mind off of it. Talk to an old friend from high school, believe it or not I had a long talk with an ex boyfriend of mine and he kept my mind off of calling the recent ex, (see advice not talking.)

And finally, Let him go.

I’m still working on this one too. It’s hard, it hurts, it sucks, etc. There really is no advice for this one but to give it time. It’s going to hurt but remember this happened so you can find someone better, and learn from your mistakes. Don’t expect this to happen overnight, or any of these things to help right away.

Remember the good memories you have. I have eight months of happy memories. I loved him and I still do but you have to move on. You have to let go.