College is a time for new beginnings. A student travels up to hundreds or thousands of miles away from home to new surroundings. Even if home is just down the road, the college experience is very different from the old life. And while it comes with a variety of challenges, from academics to stress, there is one particular problem that looms on every freshman’s mind: relationships, or, rather, lack thereof.
At college a student is far from family, high school friends, or even some friendly acquaintances. Here one feels almost like they’re starting from square one, adrift in a sea of strangers. Will I get along with my roommate? How will I make friends? Is there anyone here that will like me? These are questions many freshman ask themselves. After all, it is well-known that having a group of friends and acquaintances confers benefits that reach far beyond their social life. It provides you with a support system, improves your mood, and simply banishes those feelings of loneliness. The problem is that friends don’t fall from the sky. You have to make them.
Fortunately there are many ways to make friends at college. The first step is to realize you’re not alone. There are over a thousand of students in the exact same situation as you are, with the exact same fears and insecurities. Basically everyone here is starting fresh and eager to make friends. Now is the prime opportunity to build relationships, as now people are the most open to forming relationships with new people. Of course, this is not to imply that you can’t make friends later on, but rather to state that as time goes on, friend groups will cement into place and it will be more difficult to access these people.
It’s actually easier than you think to meet and bond with people. Instead of viewing it as a daunting task, see it as a series of small actions. Every time you hang out with people, you will familiarize yourself more with them, and in turn they will become more comfortable with you. Ask your hall mates to go to dinner together, or to hold a late night study session. Make sure to get the phone number of a classmate so you can text them later about homework (which hopefully turns into a conversation). Join a sports team or club, or go to school events to meet as many people as possible.
A third way to bond with people is to present yourself positively. Naturally you should never pretend to be someone you’re not. But, try putting your best self forward to leave your best impression. Be open and friendly to people you meet. Show genuine interest in others personal lives. Or, create your own opportunities to spend time with others. Stock up on candy and snacks in your dorm, and advertise you’re willing to share, so that people will come in to study or talk with you for the free food. People will remember you for small acts of kindness like that.
The truth is, there is no one way to meet people or make a friend. Every person is unique, and so are their relationships. There are some general rules to meeting people though, ways to ensure that people get to know you and like you. This can include simple acts like getting a phone number or going out to eat with a person. These acts actually help you to meet people, to start that first conversation that may lead to a long friendship. All you have to do is make that first small action. You never know where you will find that valuable, life-long connection you’ve wanted for so long.