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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Why I Cannot Stand Our Dating Culture Anymore

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wisconsin chapter.

Today’s dating culture sucks and, in my opinion, is the worst thing that has come from this millennium. What happened to the stories our parents used to tell us about? You know, the ones about the process of dating someone and being in an exclusive relationship?

Commitment today is determined by a Snapchat streak, dates are filled with Netflix, likes on Instagram show affection, and meeting the parents has turned into friending them on Facebook. Personal details of our lives are found in our social media bios, and breakups are hardly a thing anymore; they simply consist of ending whatever you had by ignoring one another.

Dating today is rarely referred to as “dating” anymore. Perhaps to some, it is seeing one another, maybe to others it’s “hanging out,” or possibly it’s just hooking up. The glorious yet horrible thing is that there is no title to what you share with someone. This can be used as an excuse to not have to define a relationship. It can also be abused by never knowing where you stand in the other’s life. Without the label, there is a lack of commitment, and we find ourselves disposable to the other. One day everything is fine, and then it seems as if you have become strangers over night. Yet, when their name reappears on our phones, we find ourselves running back to them.

Communication is the key to success for anything, and yet we are scared to say how we feel out loud. There is a constant fear of annoying the other person. Isn’t it sad that we are more vulnerable to share what we feel on the inside than we are to display public affection? It is a waiting game: wondering if you should message first or wait for them to. We avoid problems by ignoring them or, even worse, ignoring the person we are having them with. Addressing these issues in person is unheard of. Why say the things that are bothering us out loud when they can be sent in text?

We hide behind our phone screens, and I can’t help but wonder if that is where the main problem stems from: how easy is it to find someone new when you become bored with the someone old. Is that why some keep ex’s numbers in their phones? So that they are ready for change when they aren’t happy with what they currently have?

We have created and nourished the beast that is today’s dating culture. We took advantage of the low commitment relationship structure and brought it to a whole new level. Now, I can’t help but wish we could go back to the days when a commitment actually meant something. Dates were dinner, the movies, concerts, or going on an adventure. Saying I love you showed our affection. Meeting the parents meant you went over to their house for dinner as a serious couple. Personal details of each other’s lives were ingrained in our brains, not home screens.

I hope we can stop and reverse to what dating was before it is too late. As of right now, though, today’s dating culture sucks, and we need a change.

 

I am a senior at the greatest university— the University of Wisconsin. I am in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication, double tracking in reporting and strategic communications and earning a certificate in and Digital Studies. I am a lover of dance, hiking, writing for Her Campus, the Badgers and strawberry acais. I am also a president of Her Campus Wisconsin.