…a non-exhaustive list of things you do that I, and probably a lot of people, will judge you for.
1. Not waiting 2 seconds to hold the door when I’m less than 10 steps behind you.
2. Being too oblivious to get the hint.
3. Wearing flip flops or sandals in the snow. You look stupid. And cold.
4. Asking “can I ask you a question?” …before you ask another question.
5. Agreeing with everything I say. It’s cool if we’re on the same page, but at least add to the conversation. In the words of Einstein…
6. Being one of those people who think indifference is cool. There’s a difference between being confident enough to not care what others think of you and pretending to not care when you’re worried what they would think
7. Excessive apologizing.
8. Not waiting for a response after you ask someone how they are.
9. Acting drunk when you’re nothing past tipsy.
10. Instagraming at the gym.
11. Trying to talk to me when I have headphones in.
12. Name-dropping. It’s cool if you know influential/famous/successful people, but when you consistently bring up your obscure connection to Harry Styles, it gets annoying.
13. Mentioning your weight all the time.
14. Being rude to your waiter. This is one of those things that just makes you a bad human. Unless your waiter actually isn’t doing their job, don’t be rude. It’s rarely their fault if your food is taking forever or was made wrong, so try to be decent.
15. Telling people you’re “not a reader” or that you “hate” books.
16. Not following through… with plans, group work, TEXTS.
17. Saying “literally” before anything. You don’t really mean literally, you mean figuratively.
18. Telling me how “crazy” your night was, and that your hangover is so bad you can’t even eat your low fat, gluten-free meal-replacement bar. All while your makeup is perfect and you look totally fine of course.
19. Using “I’m a realist” as an excuse for your negativity.
20. Showing up to class 20 minutes late and expecting me to put my desk down and make room for you to climb over.
21. Sharing your life story on Twitter like the world cares.
22. Posting dramatic updates to Facebook.
23. Calling yourself a “music junkie” when really you’re just a music snob. Annoying habits include: judging people’s music preferences, bragging about finding a band first, thinking you’re too good for pop music, telling people they’re not a “true fan” if they only know a few songs, etc…
24. Saying no homo after anything. Not O.K..
25. Going to a restaurant with your friends but not actually ordering anything because you’re “on a diet” and “____ is bad for you.” Why did you even come?
26. Calling yourself sarcastic when really you’re just a bitch. You’re not funny, you’re mean and you can’t justify that.
If you aren’t feeling annoyed right now, sorry to say, but it’s probably because you’re one of those people who do these annoying things. But to those of you who understand where I’m coming from…