Once upon a time, in the mysterious land of Iowa far, far away lived a mystical creature known as a farmer. His name was Chris Soules, a descendent of 4th generation farmers, and he was searching for the perfect princess to live with him in his kingdom full of hogs and soybeans….
It’s no surprise that Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor, defends this season as the “craziest season yet.” But to my revelation, after watching endless seasons of “The Bachelor” with endless glasses of wine, I have not found a season as dramatic and crazy as season 19. At first, I couldn’t be more shocked that our American cowboy was soul searching for love on national television. However, if those farm-tanned muscles can sweep hay into a pickup, they sure can sweep girls off their feet. It’s no doubt that this season has taught us a lot of great information when trying to woo your eye candy. Here are just a few:
1) When approaching your love interest, first impressions are everything.
Reegan’s heart was split in two when she got the cowboy-boot from Chris after the first night. However, thankfully, this cadaver tissue saleswoman brought a spare in her cooler. Lesson learned, the only heart you should be bringing to your date is your own.
Also, unless you’re trying to be the next bachel-whore, telling Prince Farming he can plow your field anytime is probably not the best pick up line to say—especially when your family’s watching.
2) Maybe talking too much isn’t always a good thing?
I’ll be the first one to admit that first dates are awkward. You have to acknowledge the fact that you must restrict your weird side to a minimum. However, Mackenzie decided that she’d skip the unwritten rule to play it cool by talking about her obsession for large noses and aliens.
Jillian, on the other hand, kept it casual as she entertained us about her workout regime. So take tips, ladies. However, speaking too fast for Chris, he stated how his mind wandered to unicorns and dancing fairies. Weird? Prince Farming doesn’t think so.
3) Always be yourself, even in strange situations.
No one says it better than Ashley S., as she goes on about some bizarre onion rant explicitly explaining how people are like onions, and you have to peel them back layer-by-layer… Too bad the onion she was referring to was actually a pomegranate.
I can only imagine how high tensions get in a house full of 30 girls fighting for the same man’s attention. So Chris finds a suitable date: to let out all that tension in a battleground of zombies. Yet, all the other girls were uneasy when they placed a gun in Ashley S.’s hand, as she debated shooting her own teammates.
4) Make sure to establish your story.
No one said it better (over and over again) than widow Kelsey about her perfect tragic story and how having the best story in the house would get her ahead of the game.
5) Don’t forget that anyone can be a princess.
Is Chris a knight in shining overalls? Although it may be a tractor ride down the yellow brick road of downtown LA, these princesses made this fast and furious fairytale date one to remember as they all giddied up in their bikinis and cowboy boots.
However, this enchanted cruise wasn’t enough for Ashley I. who got very envious of Jade’s “Cinderella” moment. But, she reminds us all that anyone can be a princess even if they’re gnawing on a corncob.
Look no further than these 30 women every Monday to give you the best dating advice from their own experiences. Try to keep these five fine details in mind next time you get swept off your heels by your own Prince Charming.