As a girl who rode the single wagon for years, I get it. I really, really do. On Valentine’s Day, it totally sucks seeing those posts on your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat etc., and it’s even worse when you’re just walking to Walgreens to pick up some trashbags and you see the couples with their flowers and their chocolate, hand-in-hand. Bleh.
It is so easy to immediately start to hate those who are in relationships, especially when you haven’t been all that lucky in love. You can go from being “super independent and happy to be on your own” to “resentful of that cute couple cuddled up in the coffee shop and cursing all of their happiness away” real quick.
But it’s important to understand that putting down someone else’s happiness just to justify not being in a relationship is not healthy, or okay. For many reasons that everyone should remember this Valentine’s Day.
1. All of those people were once exactly where you were.
No, not shaming every couple pic on Facebook alone in your bedroom. But yes, single. Everyone’s been through the struggle (I mean, nobody jumps right into a lifelong romantic relationship at birth), and understanding that you’re not some kind of “exception” for cupid and his cute lil’ arrows is a good step to being happier.
2. It’s simply not doing you any good.
It’s actually going to make you sadder or angrier than you may have been before. And while you may think blaming all the happy couples for being responsible for your sad, single ass, in reality, we all know it’s not true. It’s not anyone’s “fault,” because being single is not a bad thing.
3. Valentine’s Day is not the only day out of the year that there are happy couples out and about.
Yeah, it is one of the flashiest days to show your love, but if your anger is only apparent on 1/365 days, then it’s clearly misguided. *No, this does not mean you should relationship-shame yearlong either*
4. You need to realize that being in a relationship is not the root of all happiness.
It’s an amazing feeling to be loved, but to be honest one of the most empowering things of my lifetime was actually being single and learning to love myself, and being by myself. It’s not until you can truly say you’re happy on your own that you’re ready to add another person to the equation.
5. A Valentine doesn’t have to be a significant other.
It’s a day to celebrate everyone you love. So, make sure you know you’re not actually alone and unloved; you’ve got your best friends, siblings, parents, pets, neighbors, the overly nice barista who now remembers your order every morning—this V-day, remember that the power of love knows no limits.
6. You don’t know how long it took them to find happiness in a relationship.
For a lot of people, it’s not such a smooth ride (and you might be one of those people). A ton of people go through abusive relationships, have their loyalty ruined by a cheater, or simply spend too much time on people who don’t make them all that happy. Understand that for them, it may be a whole lot more important than just getting a ton of likes on social media. And for anyone who’s also had a rough go-of-it, use their love as inspiration and hope that better days are ahead of you.
So please, remember this Valentine’s Day that it’s never okay to hate on the relationships. To be honest, you don’t see anyone in a relationship out there shaming all the singles (And if there is anyone out there doing that, uh please stop. That’s really awful). Show happiness for love, know your own worth, and make sure that your heart is welcoming and not at all salty this year.