Winter break was here and gone all too quickly. It was awesome to get off campus and sleep in our own beds, but being home also meant having to answer a lot of questions from a mom concerned with our ways of adulthood. In honor of those incredulous “When are you going to grow up?” comments, enjoy this list of questions you can hear your own mom asking in that what-is-wrong-with-you tone.
1. “You wore leggings to lunch with grandma!?”
They’re basically the same as yoga pants, Mom.
2. “You spent $137 on lattes last semester!?!”
You can’t expect me to be awake without my morning coffee! I wouldn’t be able to pay attention in class. Then we’d be wasting all that tuition money, Mom… So really, it was a good investment.
3. “You watched 5 seasons of Skins in 3 days!?”
Actually, I finished all 7…
4. “You made pizza rolls at 2am!?”
All that binge-watching was making me hungry…
5. “You dyed your hair WHAT color!?”
6. “Do your shoes belong in the middle of the hallway?”
Yes, Mom. They do. Because I can’t leave my bed. I need to keep watching my show!
7. “You illegally download music?!?”
8. “You resubmitted your W2, right!?!”
9. “You’re still in your pajamas!?!”
It’s a Monday, Mom. I’m not leaving my bed.
10. “You put both your reds and your whites in the washer!?”
At $2.25 a wash, I’m not about to waste five bucks just to keep Bucky from turning pink!
11. “You ordered gummy bears from Amazon!?”
They looked better than the ones at Target, and they get delivered straight to our door. I don’t even have to leave my bed!
12. “You’re crying because who broke up!?”
In the show Mom, in the show.
13. “You bought more underwear from Victoria’s Secret!?!”
C’mon Mom, 7 for $26 and free shipping? You can never have enough.
14. “You were out until when last night!?”
Does it matter? I’m obviously home now.
Seriously Mom, we love you lots, but in preparation of any further questions, please direct your attention to what will most definitely be my sarcastic response.