- My roommate from last semester started dating 6 different guys on Tinder. She kicked me out 4-6 nights a week so she could have her “dates” in the room. One night I came back and their used condom and wrapper was on the ground by all of my stuff. Needless to say, she moved out.
- One Thursday, my roommate came home super drunk, and I woke up to crackers all over the bathroom and in the shower.
- My roommate got a haircut and told me, “Now our hair is the same length” in a somewhat creepy tone.
- When I’m sick, I get really bad coughing attacks and my roommate told me to stop coughing because she couldn’t sleep. Nothing like being told to stop something you can’t control.
- My roommate used to text me to tell or ask me things after I left the room instead of talking to me.
- 3 of my roommates have spent OVER AN HOUR talking about how “ahhhhmazingggg” mushrooms are. No, not drugs, literally just stupid mushrooms that they cook and then rave over.
- Regularly, my roommate used to have sleepovers without telling me.
- My roommate came home alone one day with a front tooth missing and blood all over her face. She fell running across the street. We weren’t weren’t friends, but I cleaned her up and put Neosporin on her face. I’m not even sure if she thanked me.
- I walked into my bathroom and my body wash was in the middle of the shower with my roommate’s bra wrapped around it. How does that even happen!? She never explained.
- My roommate called her mother on the phone and started whining/crying because they gave her the wrong color yoga mat for her birthday…
- One morning I woke up to a loud BANG in the bathroom and then my roommate texted me to say “Sorry, my backpack knocked over the shower caddy, but I’m in a rush to get to class so I can’t pick everything up!” Why was she in the shower with her backpack on??
- My roommate is crazy messy, never does her dishes and leaves everything around the apartment. When her mom was coming over she told me I needed to clean up my mess.
- My roommate had a male guest over without telling me when I came home early from class to take a nap because I was sick. I never got my nap.
- So my roommate was hungover and puking in the bathroom, when her parents knock on the door. She didn’t even tell me she was coming over, and they don’t think that she drinks. You could hear her puking from outside of the bathroom. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the house to avoid awkwardly sitting with her weird parents as the noises of their daughter puking was in the background.
- My roommate left an entire stack of dishes on the counter, and then she studied abroad for a month over the summer without cleaning up her dishes first.
- When I was moving out of my freshman dorm, my roommate was on the phone sobbing to her mom about how she put stuff into storage that she wanted to take home for the summer. She was crying on the phone and I had to leave, so I just waved and left. I never said goodbye to my roommate that I spent a whole year living with.
- My roommate hid our extra toilet paper from me. No explanation, it was just gone one day.
- One of my roommates lives on a steady diet of Pop-tarts and Digiorno’s pizza, and once asked if pizza counted as a vegetable.
- My roommate never says anything to me…ever.
And finally, story time:
My roommates are so territorial that I’m not allowed to sit at our dining room table. Ever. All because I used it as a desk one night… After a long night of studying lecture slides on my laptop, I went to bed around 1:00AM. Woke up at 6:00AM to keep cramming for my midterm only to find a lovely little note:
The funny thing is that I left the table as clean as it’s ever been. But, after talking to my roommates about the note, they said it was “an inconvenience” when I sat there, because my stuff was taking up their space at the table. Below is the “inconvenience” I left:
Weird, looks pretty clean to me… And what, you couldn’t sit at any of the other spots at the table? And why were you so concerned about space at the table between 1 and 6AM?
Let’s take a moment to consider how the table has looked for the past 5 months, since I’ve been banished from sitting there:
Yep, clearly my roommates are very concerned with keeping the table “clean.” They just don’t like me.
Oh, roommates; can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.