“She’s so fat! How does she have a boyfriend/girlfriend when I don’t?” — This catty remark is whispered way too often and to be honest, it confuses me. I think to myself, do people honestly still equate someone’s body type with their potential to be loved? Is large body type not acceptable in today’s society?
I finally decided to find out the answer to these questions.
I went around campus asking students of all genders and sexualities several questions that would help me make sense of all this. Here are my results:
I asked people what they believed society’s body standards for women were; nearly all of the answers were the same. Although some did mention that society is slowly changing, it’s agreed that society prefers the femme, skinny, long-haired, blond-haired, big-breasted, big-bottomed, long-legged, big-lipped, “coke bottle” framed girls. All while the women who don’t fit this standard get overlooked and treated unfairly.
20-year-old junior Brandon Murrell feels that those women are treated “like they don’t belong” and that other people “act like they’re better than them”. If someone decides to date outside of the standard they’re either looked at like they could do better or as 21-year-old Jamila Wicker observed, thought of as “courageous” and that they’re doing them a favor.
No one ever considers the plenty of factors that can make someone a thousand times more attractive than a girl with a nice body.
Murrell says, “Don’t let anyone sacrifice your happiness. Be with anybody who makes you happy, regardless of weight.” He expressed that when looking for a girl, he prefers “whoever makes me [him] happy.” He says that while appearance is a factor, “looks and appearance isn’t the only thing people should judge off of.”
18-year-old freshman, Layla Saleeby considers thoughtfulness, open-mindedness, sense of humor, and “someone who’s not going to try to change me [Saleeby].” A 19-year-old sophomore, Ethan Jarrett, says he prefers a girl that he just simply has “chemistry” with. He also considers religion and a girl who’s “family oriented.”
18-year-old freshman Olivia Hartman says she considers a girl’s “political values” and says she prefers a girl who’s “passionate and driven.”
A 19-year-old sophomore named Devyn Brown says she likes a nice girl who she can share a “philosophical, intelligent convo” with.
Ashley McHam, a 24-year-old senior, sums this argument perfectly: “They [people who date outside the standard] like the person for who they are and don’t care about what people think. They don’t need friends’ approval.” She comments on this, saying “It’s awesome! You’re a genuine person if you can look past the way someone looks.”
I couldn’t agree more.
The sad part, though, is that even though the group of people I ran into were very sweet themselves, they all admitted that they, too, had heard the question from the beginning of the article at least once in their lives, and they weren’t necessarily happy about it. To all the bitter, can’t-get-a-date-because-I’m-all-up-in-other-people’s-business people out there, they say…
“Fuck off!”
-Devyn Brown, 19, Sophomore
“It has nothing to do with you. Their relationship doesn’t affect you in any way.”
-Genna Mitchum, 18, Freshman
“That’s not cool. Date who you want. Physical appearance shouldn’t matter.”
-Jon’Paul Montgomery, 20, Junior
“It’s none of your business. No one should have control over who anyone dates. If it isn’t you, it shouldn’t matter.”
-Brandon Murrell, 20, Junior
“You should probably work on yourself because you have some issues.”
– Ethan Jarrett, 19, Sophomore
“If you judge by appearance you’re denying yourself so much from life.”
-Olivia Hartman, 18, Freshman
“I’d try to reason through your arguments and point out logical fallacies.”
-Layla Saleeby, 18, Freshman
“That’s not a nice thing to say. Body doesn’t determine worth. You’re rude, closed minded, and you’re missing out.”
-Jamila Wicker, 21, Senior
“You’re a hater. If you don’t have anything to do with their history, stay in your lane. If you don’t like somebody for looks, your parents should have whooped your ass. You’re missing out on beautiful things because of a visual thing.”
-Ashley McHam, 24, Senior