Many are surprised when they hear this, but I had an eating disorder and overcame it. Until now, I never really opened up about my journey because I never wanted anyone to think of me differently — I didn’t want them to be scared of me or worry about me.
But, I can proudly say there’s nothing to worry about anymore. After putting up with all of the struggles and challenges I went through, I now am aware of the strength I have. My life has changed a lot, but it’s changed for the better. However, it wasn’t always so good.
I had an eating disorder that started during my senior year of high school and lasted up until my freshmen year of college. During this time, I had lost a total of 25 pounds. I went from being 109 pounds down to being only 84 pounds–which obviously isn’t healthy for any freshman in college.
When I came to Winthrop, I was more than excited to be here. I loved to run and was on the cross-country team, but I was running while extremely underweight. Because of this constant push on my body to run, I ended up developing health problems, which lead me to no longer being allowed to run or exercise. My health was getting worse and worse.
After this incident, I was than enrolled in a program in Charlotte that was designed for women with eating disorders. It was there that I was diagnosed with Anorexia.
Even after being enrolled in the program for 2 hours a day, 3 times a week, I still didn’t change. I was just continuing the same eating and exercise patterns I had become so used to. To me, it didn’t matter the amount of help I had because I chose not to listen to the professionals or my family, and decided I didn’t want to change myself. I felt that there was nothing anyone could do to help me because I didn’t want to listen to it.
And then one day, I woke up and finally had the realization and the strength to decide that I wanted to change, and that I needed to change. Still to this day I don’t understand where this sudden epiphany came from, but I am more than happy that it happened. The day that I chose to accept help was the day that changed my life.
It’s almost a year later I have never once looked back. I have only continued to live a healthy lifestyle for myself, and am stronger than I ever thought I could be. Of course, I am still dealing with some of the consequences.
Because of my eating disorder, I caused permanent damage to my body. I now have weak bones because of the bone mass I lost during this time, meaning I can’t run high mileage anymore because I’m prone to stress fractures. I also now have anxiety that was caused from the disorder, but every day I’m working through it, and every day I think about how my life really has changed for the better.
Today, I’m healthy and I focus on enjoying my life. After experiencing an eating disorder, I’ve decided I wanted to major in nutrition to become a nutritionist so I can help others with their eating disorders.
During the time of my disorder, I never thought I would have recovered and would have been as strong as I am now. If it weren’t for the help of my athletic trainer, my mom and my sister, my eating disorder would have taken my life.
On the left is when I was struggling with my eating disorder, on the right is a picture of myself now, recovered and healthy.
If you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, don’t hesitate to get help.
Call this number or visit the National Eating Disorder website.
1-800-931-2237