Summer 2014, my friends and I are having a get together: alcohol, food, and fun. For the purposes of this article we’ll call one of them Ashley*. Her nose is buried in her phone, in fact, I haven’t seen her face in hours…and I’m worried she may not actually have one anymore. No one has even had the decency to ask her if her neck hurts, being cramped up for so long staring down at her hands. Maybe she needs an ice pack? A Robaxacet? A shot of vodka?
She’s hooked on Tinder. Ashley spends her time swiping from right to left at every waking hour; on her lunch break at work, during television commercials, as she falls asleep, sometimes even when she’s driving. She was obsessed, completely enthralled in the world of online dating with a spin; thousands of women and men at, quite literally your fingertips. Complete with bio’s, pictures, and the options to strike up a conversation with an automated witty ice breaker…who wouldn’t get a little hung up on it? For a while I lost my best friend…completely immersed in the world of Tinder she barely spoke when we hung out, unless it was to muse about some attractive match she had just been notified of or to comment on some outlandish thing a man had said to her? (“Nice tits…want to fornicate?” were very popular introductions). I had had the app on my phone a couple times, casually flipping through the hordes of people that popped up, most I would never even consider swiping right for. Occasionally I’d match one, lurk their photos, and then block them immediately when they attempted to message me. At best it was a decent way to pass the time when I should have been studying for exams or working on assignments.
Losing Ashley to this mindless dating app for those few long weeks was hard on us all; she was in the depths of her addiction at the time, laying poolside with her phone duct taped to her right hand, getting dizzy with images of various men, swaying from left to right haphazardly. Sometimes she’d even accidentally swipe right to someone “creepy”, guys with snakes wrapped around their necks, or dudes flexing in the mirror whilst doing the infamous duck face. “Oh my God. What do I do! I just matched this weirdo!” she’d scream, as if she were on fire, calming down almost immediately once the said “weirdo” had been safely blocked from accessing her profile. She had also set up casual dates with some of these guys as well, meeting up with people who were essentially complete strangers at obscure locations, neglecting to inform any of her close friends of her whereabouts. We were scared for her, and although she is recovering now, and has since deleted the app from her phone entirely, there were a few weeks where she was slipping away from us, being sucked into this virtual world almost entirely.
I found it interesting how someone so attractive, intelligent, and personable could get so enthralled in such a frivolous phone app. Tinder is basically a type of speed dating for the technologically obsessed youth of our generation. Many people cite it as a simple way to get a quick “confidence boost” while others use it as a serious way to meet up with local singles. Although seemingly harmless this app can have devastating consequences; meeting up with random strangers is never safe, in the same way we wouldn’t just waltz into someone’s car just because the guy in the front seat is wearing a purple varsity jacket and has the jawline of Chuck Bass. So then why is it that we are so willing to have random rendezvous with strangers from Tinder?
First and foremost it’s simple to use and, I’ll admit it, a little bit fun. People crave human interaction, but many of us, with our busy schedules and school commitments find it hard to fit it in. Who wouldn’t want to spend a couple minutes…or hours, flipping through this app and connecting with potential “friends.” Especially during university when we are a little too old and sophisticated for 90’s era chat rooms, and a little too young for OkCupid, it’s nice to know that there is an app that caters to the interests, age, and location of people like us, without the worry of having all of your personal information exposed.
Secondly, since it is a relatively faceless, mindless way of communicating there is no pressure to actually follow through with any meet-ups. It can literally be used for casual conversation. It’s kind of like a night out at the bar, but the guys are less vocal and douche-y (only because the ones who aren’t can simply be blocked immediately upon sexist or creepy comment) and the vodka infused poor decision of hopping into a cab and heading straight to some random frat guy’s bedroom is much less likely.
Jessica Parks*, a fourth year Western University student, says that she uses Tinder, “mostly as a way to pass the time. It’s kind of fun to swipe left or right and sometimes you see people you know or are already friends with.” When asked whether or not she would meet up with a match Parks said, “probably not. I mostly use it as a fun way to get a few self-esteem boosts and procrastinate. I know people who have met their boyfriends or hook ups on Tinder but I don’t really think that’s for me.”
The majority of users are young, college-aged males and females who are all too accustomed to the quick, social media laden culture of twitter, Instagram, and Facebook in which personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions are expressed quickly, efficiently, and in a condensed mode of writing. We are used to having updates on our friends and families through an Instagram upload or a quick-to-read status update, so it’s no wonder something like Tinder took off. Who wouldn’t want a less awkward way to approach local singles, with an easy to use set up that allows you to, albeit minimally, screen the people you’d be willing to talk to, ensuring that you have at least some similar interests.
Karen* is another fourth year student at Western who avidly uses Tinder as a way to connect with people she shares common interests with. “I’ve gone on a couple Tinder dates with people I started talking to. Some went okay, others have been a little bit awkward,” she says. Karen also says that Tinder just makes it easy to find people, in a time in her life where she feels like it’s difficult to meet prospective boyfriends. “It just basically takes away the awkward, search for a guy. If you’re on Tinder everyone assumes you are willing to talk so it makes it pretty easy.” The appeal, thus, is in the simplicity of the app itself. Karen acknowledges that it can be easy to get wrapped up in how many matches you have or whether or not someone matches you back. “Sometimes it just feels good to have a decent looking guy match you…but mostly it’s fun. I don’t get too hung up on it, at the end of the day it’s just a phone app.” Well said, Karen. Well said.
While it is an easy way to meet people, it should not be used as a replacement for human interaction, (duh!). Just think back to the sad story of Ashley, the happy go lucky girl with a bright future, who almost lost her thumbs to 876 Tinder matches. Don’t be like Ashley; don’t get too wrapped up in the technological world of filtered profile photos and quirky pick-up lines. At the end of the day it is just an app that is meant for a little bit of fun, casual conversation. When it comes to social media, of any kind, everything is best in moderation and always prioritize your safety. If you are going to pursue a match be sure to meet in a public space, like a crowded coffee shop, and tell your friends where you’re planning on going and with whom. With that in mind keep calm and Tinder on.
*Names have been changed to preserve anonymity