I met my current boyfriend when I was with someone else, and I’m going to be honest—I got a lot of sh*t for it.
This reaction is understandable, considering the circumstance. Not only did other people judge me, but I also beat myself up over it. I was the type of person to ridicule others for leaving their partner for someone else—it just didn’t seem right. Until it happened to me.
I’m here to say that sometimes we meet the person we’re meant to be with when we’re with someone else, and it’s time that we stop judging people for this. We’re all only human; we can’t control how we feel. We can, however, control how we handle the situation and deal with the problem.
I never cheated on my ex-boyfriend, and I never considered it. I loved him even though I started having feelings for someone else. I also respected our relationship and history enough to not betray him. But let’s be honest here: sometimes we don’t realize what’s wrong for us until the right thing comes along.
This is what happened to me: I was in a severely toxic relationship. I was unhappy, depressed, and began to lose faith in a happy ending. Deep down, I just knew it wasn’t going to happen for my ex-boyfriend and I because of our cultural and religious differences (which you can read about here). So, when I began to catch glimpses of a better opportunity, I couldn’t ignore them.
My current boyfriend and I started off as acquaintances. We met in the King’s library through a mutual friend—nothing out of the ordinary. I noticed he was cute, but I didn’t think much of it; I was in a relationship, after all. But after a few weeks, we began running into each other more often, and we became friends. I confided in him about my ex-boyfriend because he seemed to genuinely care about me, even though he knew I was “off limits.”
For years I was used to people telling me that there was something wrong with my relationship, but it didn’t really resonate until my current boyfriend said something. At the time, he was seeing another girl, and he would tell me about their dates and the things he would do for her. It made me wonder—why wasn’t I being treated that way? Why couldn’t my boyfriend do those things for me?
That was when things really began to change. I started to see this friend as something more, and I began to distance myself from my boyfriend. When I finally had the courage to end things for good, he got really nasty. He blamed me for emotionally cheating and taking advantage of him. But realistically, I didn’t break up with him because of someone else—I broke up with him for myself, because I knew the end was inevitable.
I started dating my current boyfriend shortly after leaving my last. I knew it was fast, but I couldn’t let the opportunity pass me without giving it a shot. For all I knew, he was the person I was meant to be with.
A year and a half later, we’re still together, and I have never been happier. Looking back on my decision, I know I made the right choice. While I might have been on the receiving end of some nasty comments and disbelieving expressions, I know choosing to be with someone else was the best thing for me, as well as my ex. Sometimes, you don’t realize who’s wrong for you until the right one comes along and shows you different. Sometimes, you meet “the one” when you’re with someone else—and that’s okay.