My whole life, I’ve been curvy. I developed before the other girls, and so I was teased as a kid because of that. In middle school, everyone is awkward and unsure of themselves, and it’s easy to pick on kids who have different body shapes. Also in middle school, I had braces, a chubby face, and my hair looked like Hermione’s in the first Harry Potter movie. Or Mia Thermopolis before Pablo’s makeover. You get it- there was a lot of frizz. So being self-conscious wasn’t difficult.
My dad raised me by himself, so I didn’t really have a female role model to look up to who could teach me about bras and deep conditioning and makeup. That was really tough for me- I didn’t know how to dress for my body shape, or that you should never brush curly hair. I had to learn all that girly stuff on my own, and that kind of sucked. I was lucky, and had other female family friends that did their best to help me and guide me. But having family friends (or even a mother) doesn’t teach you how to love your body. You have to learn that lesson all by yourself.
Now as a ‘grown-up’ (ew, I’m not that old), I still struggle a little bit with my body. Everyone has bad days, of course. And I have to remind myself (often) that I am not my weight and I am not my clothing size… these things have no indication of my ability to care for others, or my interests or talents.
I always feel like I could eat healthier, or exercise more often- but I think that I would feel that way even if I were a vegan, varsity athlete. We always want more from ourselves, and we put pressure on ourselves to be that more, even if we know that it’s unattainable. I mean, as much as I would love to have a body like Kendall Jenner, it’s not going to happen, and I know that, and I have to accept that. It’s hard to love and appreciate yourself, and some days you’re not going to. But as you grow older and wiser, you learn that you’ve got to work with what you’ve got and do what’s best for you and your body. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others, and envy what they have, but we have to realize how toxic this behavior is to our mental health and well-being.