Although she won’t admit it, I have always thought that my mom is an excellent writer. When I was in elementary school, I always believed that I better in the maths and sciences, and by that mentality, I never put in much time or effort into my writing. My patient mother would sit down with me, and comb through what I had written, pointing our errors, and showing me how to fix them (she still does for most of my Her Campus articled now!). I remember being in awe, thinking how lucky I was to have a mother who had such a way with words, who could make anything – even a grade six paper on the ‘First Explorers of Canada’ seem so poetic and professional. When I read this article, that same feeling of pride came back to me. My mother is such an amazing, talented, inspiring women, who has dedicated herself to my brother and I. What I might have mistaken as toughness as a child, was her caring about us – pushing us to grow and to find success in whatever we wanted. My mother has always been my number one supporter and fan, and has let me morph and change my hopes and dreams into what they are today. When I told her in grade 10 that I wanted to drop out of science completely, a subject that for years I had strived in, to pursue my aspirations to go to law school, and take courses that were more tailored to the social sciences, she stepped back and let me. No matter what, my mom has always known what is best for me, and instead showing me what that is, she has let me find it for myself, and for that, I am forever thankful. Thank you mommy, I love you so much.
(I’m crying right now)
– Amanda Jones
About a week ago, I received a text from my daughter saying, “Mom, how would you like to write for Her Campus? There is no real topic. If you want, you can share some life experiences and pass down lessons learned. Mom, you have always loved to write and it is such a wonderful feeling to have something published.” So if writing the occasional birthday card or thank you note means I love to write, then I have no other choice but to begin authoring.
Goals
To be honest, I am not a faithful Oprah follower. I really do not enjoy her but, for some reason years ago, I must have watched one episode of her TV show. That episode has stuck with me for almost twenty years. The advice given by Oprah that day just made sense and as a result I have continually repeated “the goal speech” to my daughter ever since she was a very little girl. Oprah basically said you always need a goal. No matter how farfetched your goal may be, you should always have a goal. Your goal can change over time and more than likely it will. But the important thing is to have a goal. If you do not strive for something, then you really are not striving for anything. Looking back now, six years old may have been a little young for my daughter to start goal setting. However, like everything my daughter does, she embraced the idea and proceeded to map out her life as a paleontologist. For years we heard that she was going to be a doctor. She was going to travel the world digging up bones. But she decided her two-year-old brother also needed a goal to strive towards. If she were going to be the doctor, she would require an assistant to carry ‘the bones’. That would be her younger brother’s goal in life! Fortunately her goals did change, and her younger brother is no longer obligated to be the ‘bone carrier’.
Growing up
When you have a baby, you really live in the moment. You never think that your little girl is ever going to grow up and leave home. How does a seventeen-year-old move out in September, and then come home one month later for Thanksgiving a totally different person? My daughter has embraced the university experience, and has grown more confident, independent, and motivated with every passing day. I would like to take the credit for my daughter’s growth as I did provide her with the one week crash cooking and cleaning course in August. But realistically I cannot and will not. Her growth is her own achievement and her own success story.
Yes I did have people warn me that my baby will grow up over night. I remember one day, walking in the mall holding my daughter’s hand and in her other hand she was cuddling Barney, her favorite stuffed animal. An older lady came up to us, and told me to cherish these times with my daughter and that before I knew it they would be over. At the time, I thought to myself that it was strange, but okay. Now looking back, she was right. I have no idea where the time went. Unfortunately, time does pass by too quickly. My advice to my daughter has always been to be your own person, work hard but enjoy yourself, make smart decisions and do not try to grow up too quickly. Eventually, you will be all grown up with mega responsibilities. But until that day comes, remember you are still so young. You are at university to discover who you are and who you will become. You are there to learn. Not just from a textbook, but from living life. It is okay to make mistakes. That is also part of growing up. I know it is easier said than done. Remember always success is spelled with three S’es – study, socialize, and stay young! I know that was a tad bit corny, but I made it up and it does reemphasize my point!
Passionate
I think this will be my final ‘words of wisdom’ to pass down. I have always told my daughter never do something just because…. Even if she is a little interested in something, then she owes it to herself to explore the idea to see if she could become passionately involved. The word passionately is key here. Maybe I have stressed this too much to her as everything she does she is passionate about. In her grade eleven year, she was passionately involved in so many school activities that in one month she did not make it to a single class as she was on back-to-back flights taking her from a band trip to a rugby tournament, and then a DECA competition. Reflecting now on that April month of no-school, I think I really should tweak my advice a little. You must still be passionate in what you do, but at the same time be selective in your choices. Since everything has to balance, do not take on too much but take on enough to be fulfilled.
I am extremely proud of my daughter and all her accomplishments. I will end this article the way I end our nightly phone call or text. Good night sweetheart. I love you lots and more. We’ll talk tomorrow. xoxoxo
– Fiona Henderson