When I find myself in times of trouble, My Chemical Romance comforts me.
After a few rounds of Gerard Wade’s sweet angelic voice proclaiming that he’s “Not OK”, I’m somewhere between wanting to get an edgy haircut that no one will understand and running away to form a punk-themed marching band.
Eventually, the real heroes of my life show up – the ones who would only slightly question my haphazardly cut bangs and who would run to the store to buy me a heaping bag of sour watermelons to soothe my soul. My best friends.
Yes, this is immensely cliché. Yes, it’s been said. Too often the best things in life get overlooked at the risk of sounding like a commonplace platitude.
But the truth is, friendship is a really strange, odd, beautiful mess of a thing.
One second you’re just a couple of lost kids trying to exude optimum coolness in a university dorm room, and the next you’re roommates with an endless supply of inside jokes that frequently go on for way too long. You wake up everyday and no matter how awful a deck you’re dealt, you know they’re always going to be there. Not a lot of people in life can give you that kind of security.
I think it’s really easy to get wound up and forget just how much your friends have done for you. Especially once you start throwing your own romantic endeavours into the mix. And maybe it’s not even that you meant to forget about them, but suddenly Tuesday nights of watching Netflix and ordering pizza are a little farther and fewer in between. And talk of that new bae in your life became a little more constant.
A lot of people seem to think that romantic love and genuine friendship are two entirely different creatures, but I’d say they’re really slightly different misfits walking in the same world. Both are rare, finding you at times when you least expect it. Both have the power to teach you unbelievable things about yourself and everything else. Both seem insignificant at the start, like they couldn’t possibly become such a central character in your life, but both surprise you all the same.
Sure, with romance, you’ve got intimacy. Being cuddled and complimented and cared for is pretty rad. Hanging out is great, hooking up is great. The rush of falling for someone is great – the fall itself (especially when it’s a bad one), not so great. And it’s those times that the friends in your life really start to shine.
They sit with you, even though you haven’t talked as much lately, and don’t judge you for ugly crying. They’ll probably even offer you some tissues and warm up a tea to hand you once you’re less mucous-y. They listen, and I mean, they freaking listen. How many times have you been seeing someone and you’re trying to tell them about important things in your life, and they’re there but there’s not really there? Best friends will never do that to you. They’ll let you say a million things (they’ll even let you repeat them over and over again until you feel like you’ve made your point) and offer unwavering support and a little guidance to help you out.
They’ll text you just to see how your day’s going. Or maybe to send you the latest Donald Trump meme to make you laugh. If they’re real keepers, they’ll acquire your favourite type of comfort food stat and make sure it’s never in short supply.
There’s this thing we make each other feel – that if you’re not romantically involved with someone, you’re alone. And a lot of people genuinely believe that. But the truth is, relationships can be lonely too, maybe even more so. The only way you’ll feel truly together is if you surround yourself with fantastic, inspiring people who, even when your thousands of kilometers away, still make you feel like you’re right at home.
Everybody is so caught up in romantic relationships – and if he’ll call, and what that text meant, and if she should come over, and if they’re just being used, and when they’re going to find someone – that we forget about our relationships with our friends. The adventures to be had and the hilarious (and questionable) memories to be made. These are the people you are going to remember in 20 years, not all the random Tinder prospects who walked in, and out, of your life. These are the people who will inspire you to be the best version of yourself. These are the people who will make you feel like all the uncertainties in life are opportunities to do wildly cool things.
Your best friends are easily the best people that you know. Go tell them how much they rock your socks.