Lets face it, the holidays don’t always mean picture-perfect meals, flawless do-it-yourself decorations, and a Christmas card-worthy family photo. In fact, the mere thought of spending weeks attending family gatherings and holiday parties creates a tiny knot of anxiety in your gut.
The Christmas season carries landmines of awkward questions—“What are you doing after graduation?” “Anyone special in your life?” “Don’t you think you’re enjoying the wine a bit too much?”—and forced displays of affection. Simply put, sometimes being surrounded by your beloved friends and family is … too much! So here’s five tips to get you through the 2016 holidays:
1. Prioritize the inner-Christmas-elf in you.
Don’t feel like you have to get everyone in your life a Christmas gift, especially gifts for work-friends or people you see in professional situations, but don’t actually interact with on a regular basis. You don’t have money for that; you don’t need the stress of wrapping and maxing out your Visa when you have more important people to be thinking about.
If the social situation calls for some recognition of the holiday season, nine times out of ten a funny card will do the trick (or a handwritten letter). That fifteen dollars you spent on Bath and Body Works soaps for your second cousin who you interact with once a year is not benefiting that relationship in the slightest.
2. This is an excellent time of the year to become a wine enthusiast.
To put it bluntly, alcohol is an excellent way to stay loving and cheery amidst the Christmas chaos, but depending on your family’s approach to drinking, this can be a tricky one to navigate (if the family is reminiscent of the 1920’s prohibition—please refer to #3) without more awkward conversations.
Wine is largely viewed as a classier, more mature alternative to your usual dose of jäger bombs. When you turn up at home with three or four bottles, make sure to stress the different “varietals” and talk loudly about the smells and tastes. If you get lucky, your sudden status as an oenophile (wine-lover) will get you some unreal last minute Christmas gifts. It’s not alcoholism if its your new hobby!
3. Become a secret enthusiast.
So alcohol is a no-go at family functions, but there are ways to work around this! The internet is a wonderful place filled with strange secretive implements for storing alcohol for later consumption, likely in some closet or bathroom at your aunt’s place.
Vodka is your new best friend, as it’s less likely to leave a lingering smell or stain your tongue. For those with a low tolerance, Visine eye drops and Listerine breath strips just became your new best friend.
4. Share your enthusiasm.
If your sudden adoration for all things alcohol still doesn’t seem to be going over well, share! Even the more conservative family members will feel obligated to try your toasted marshmallow shots and the time you spend crafting those gorgeous cranberry jello shots will have everybody enjoying your holiday cheer/buzz. Bonus points if you start playing the Dysfunctional Family Christmas game with that cousin you don’t totally hate!
5. Catch up on your reading.
If you need a break from all the noise and overbearing affection of your relatives, know that most people won’t bother someone reading a book. Most students have their love of reading ruined by their undergraduate career, so finish that novel you started in the summer (or an entire series). If people mention that you’re being antisocial and try to force some good humour out of you, don’t be afraid to play the “it’s for school” card, and stress how important your grades are to you. You’re not being rude, just studious.
Good luck, and I sincerely wish all my fellow Christmas skeptics a silent night.