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Why it was perfectly OK to skip the royal wedding

Posted Apr 29 2011 - 8:49pm

Ever since Prince William and Kate Middleton announced their engagement some time last November, it seems as though the whole world has come down with royal wedding fever (See commemerative fridge). Over the past few days, every blog/every news source/Facebook has displayed endless images of William and Kate, Kate's dress, fancy hats, and the like. And this morning, the two finally tied the knot.
Being a diva, I missed the coverage of the royal wedding. Oh well. Here's why it's OK if you missed it too:

1. It was at 4:00 in the morning on the West coast.
When was the last time you woke up at 4:00am? To catch a flight? To throw up? Chances are, you were forced to do it and you went back to bed after. I'm sure no one will admit it, but anyone who wasn't running on energy drinks ("tea and scones" my a**!) all morning probably did fall asleep at some time during the ceremony.

2. Every website has some sort of recap, also the entire thing is available on YouTube
I've been on the internet for about an hour now, and unintentionally ran into 3. Whether you like it or not, you're going to know what went down at the royal wedding one way or another! In this internet age, watching the broadcast is completely unnecessary.

3. Wait a minute...
When it boils down to it, it's two wealthy famous White strangers getting married in front of a bunch of other wealthy not-as-famous White strangers (except Elton John, who rules).

4. We weren't even invited
Alright, I love going to weddings. I am that girl who jumps at any chance to go to a wedding. Free food, free champagne, dancing to oldies and crying whether you know the couple or not...it's all so magical, and none of it was included in the broadcast of the royal wedding. Never forgiving you for this one, Kate.

I do get it, though. It's an exciting fashion-celebrity-woohoo-filled event--who doesn't like that?! I hope that those of you who decided to watch did have a good time and weren't late to class. Best wishes to William and Kate. Have a successful marriage and don't make me trash all of the commemorative wedding memorabilia I just ordered...

Photo credit to Nick Warner & Alexandre Goulet

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