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No Strings Attached: The Danger of Confusing Casual Sex and Love

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Washington chapter.

Women can crave and want a relationship, but sometimes finding the right person is easier said than done. Breaking up with someone or being single can make you feel empty sometimes, and it’s tempting to try to cope with those feelings — or ignore them — with sex. 

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In the society where casual sex has become the norm, often women can use sex to achieve a sense of validation. You can fool yourself into thinking that women can hook up as men do when there are actually a few factors that make it hard for that to be true. The release of the hormone oxytocin is scientifically proven to make women feel more attached. If you’re not honest with yourself about what you actually want, entering a casual fling only to want more later can lead to a very sticky situation. Usually friction occurs when one expects something more than casual to happen and tries to get to know the other better. When the other person, who only wanted something casual, doesn’t want to go any further, you might start questioning your worth. If you’re are not assured enough of yourself, it can destruct your emotional health and self-esteem. 

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It takes time for everything to fall into place and so it will take some time for you to meet the right person. But they are out there. It might be tempting to reach out something that is only physical because loneliness makes you crave companionship so badly. It might make you feel the need to start to lower your standards and get involved with someone you never would otherwise. Be careful. If what you want is love and commitment, a casual relationship is inherently not going to provide what you’re looking for, and you’ll probably end right back up where you started: broken-hearted. 

Since hooking up can lessen the chance of you getting a committed relationship, consider investing your time and date someone who has the potential of being long-term without the necessity of getting physical. Love isn’t just wanting someone to undress you but someone who will readily undress your soul.

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Know your worth and be brave. Even if you feel lonely because you have been single or you just went through a breakup, you don’t have to answer your loneliness with sex or to reach out guys physically. Maybe you think that guys are only after one thing but not all guys are like that. 

After all, a real relationship is more meaningful even when the risk of getting hurt is high. When you’re down it’s easy to focus on the end of love — how it can break us into pieces. But we forget to remember how beautiful the beginning is. Even a platonic relationship can sometimes be daunting but it can be the greatest feeling when you know someone wants nothing from you but your company. 

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Safira Vasya

Washington '20

About me: I am a pre-med biology student at UW! I am a writing enthusiast, oldies music lovers and a cat whisperer since ‘98. Find me on Twitter @SafiraVasya Let's chat!