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What Not to Say to an Asexual

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Warwick chapter.

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

It’s Asexual Awareness Week, which means people are discussing asexuality (and surrounding issues) more openly on social media. University culture (and society in general) is so entangled with sex and sexuality, Asexual Awareness Week is important to validate asexual individuals and dispel any myths about asexuality. However, it also means people feel entitled to ask personal and borderline offensive questions, so here’s your guide on what not to say to an asexual.

1. Asexual? So you reproduce on your own?

We get it, you’re trying to be funny. What you probably don’t realise is we hear that hilarious one-liner every time someone finds out we’re asexual.

2. But do you masturbate?

I can’t even tell you how many times this has been the immediate response of someone who I’ve just told about my asexuality. I understand how you got there, but straight up asking someone if they masturbate is a little weird.

3. You just haven’t found the right person yet.

No, just no.

4. As an extension of the above: “you just haven’t had sex with me yet”.

Again, no.

5. You must be so lonely!

Not wanting to engage in sexual activity and being lonely are two very unrelated things. Many asexual people have strong platonic relationships and many have typical romantic relationships too. This statement falls into the dangerous rhetoric of not being able to have love without sex, which as well as being damaging, is completely untrue.

As knowledge of asexuality grows, more and more people are realising that they fall somewhere on the spectrum. Asexuality Awareness Week validates individuals who often, unfortunately, feel as though there is something wrong with them. Warwick Pride has and always will be inclusive of asexual students; find them on Facebook to learn more about asexuality this week! 

Emily-Rose. Proudly studying Film and Literature at The University of Warwick, UK. Follow my adventures on Instagram! @emilyrose.g