Keeping it Classy: Party the Right Way

Many graduates would agree that parties occupy much of the social life during the four (plus) years at college. For Wake, the small campus, prominence of Greek life, and difficulty of coursework support a relatively large party life with the “work hard, party hard” mentality. But while professors specify the laws of the academic lands, no hired professional is there to tell you what to do – and not to do – to ace the social scene. For some these rules might be common sense, but others seem to miss the logic of these rules.  You’d be surprised.

Freshmen, bid farewell to your unwritten free pass for poor party conduct-- you have officially been at school for over a month now so sloppy behavior and ignorant remarks will no longer be overlooked, and certainly not forgotten. For those of you not part of the Class of 2014 crowd, you likely already have some idea of how to carry yourself on the college party scene… but in case the thought of seriously slipping up at a party makes you anxious, here are some unwritten rules put down in writing for you to study.
 
Do mingle, don’t… ditch your friend/s
If the point of attending a party is to get to know people and have fun, why on earth would you spend the majority of the night stuck to your friend’s hip? Go out and get to know the people there, make new friends but don’t ditch your other friends in the process. If keeping promises to stay with multiple people is too much for you, try utilizing the buddy system: pick a friend to be your buddy for the night and make sure you both arrive and leave with your friend. There is safety in numbers and this way nobody goes home alone or with an acquaintance that they might regret “befriending” in the morning.
 
Do get to know people, don't… divulge other's secrets
It is never acceptable to spill secrets told to you in confidence. Whether you are at a party or not, whether the people involved in the conversation will remember or not, and whether you think the person would mind or not, information told to you in confidence is not information for you to share. Don’t blurt out secrets like you bust out your dance moves.
 
Do flirt, don't… obsess
So there is a hottie with body playing pong at the table in the corner… go chat him up! But don’t obsess and don't loiter around him like a vulture. Before you talk his ear off, let him breathe and go find a friend to introduce him to—later on in the night.
 
Do help a friend in need, don't… spread the word
Sometimes people tend to go a little overboard with refreshments or entertainment… and sometimes this leads to friends getting sick or stumbling. If you notice a friend (or even someone who isn’t necessarily your friend) in need of help, don’t just leave them in the dirty bathroom to fend for themselves. Chances are you would have helped them anyway—written unwritten rule or not-- but have you ever thought about how your actions afterwards would affect them? Don’t go telling every acquaintance at the party that you just helped so-and-so get a ride back to campus after s/he was ill all over the basement stairs. If that were you in the back of the car feeling miserable, would you really want the entire party to know about your accidental condition?
 
Do be outgoing and friendly; don't… be overly loud and obnoxious
Often times what was once social and outgoing behavior turns into boisterous and irritating (mis)conduct. It is all well and good to want to be the life of the party, but your perception of your actions may be skewed, so try to judge your level of socialization based off of other’s reactions. You might amuse partygoers for a while, but after an ambiguous amount of time, people tire of loud, aggressive remarks and become irritated.
 
Do get to know your driver; don't… be disrespectful or a distraction in their car
For off campus parties, drivers often have very long nights of driving the same route over and over. Many of them would love to hold a conversation with you, both pre- and post-party. Be mindful not to distract them from their driving by speaking too loudly and be mindful not to disrespect them by being rude or unappreciative. After all, they are driving you so that you get to where you need to go safely. The least you can do is show some common manners and thank them for the ride. If you feel so inclined, many drivers enjoy having company on their rounds so why not offer to stay through a few cycles and chat about how lame the party was without them.
 
Do get to know the host/s; don't… forget their names
A great way to make friends with new people is getting to know the host/s of the party. Meet them throughout the night and remember their names so that you can go up and make conversation with them later on in the night, or at another party. Such a simple gesture that shows your interest in getting to know them, why not make the effort to remember their name/s?
 
Do enjoy refreshments, don't… accept beverages from strangers, exceed your limit
This is an obvious one. You never know what they could have put in the drink, so if you really want some refreshments, and somebody you just met tonight offers to get you one, go with them and watch them make it. Or, at the very least, take the drink not offered to you (the one they intended for themselves) and wait to see if they take a drink. This may sound like an unnecessary measure, but when it comes down to how well you know, or don’t know, an acquaintance, safety is always the best route. This is also true when it comes to how much refreshments you enjoy: know your limit and stay within it. As you know, after a certain point you lose your sensibility and control over your behavior. Stumbling, slurring, and becoming sick is not exactly the definition of classy partying.
 
Do dance, don't… hook up on the dance floor
Does this really need an explanation? Enough said.
 
Do dress for the occasion, don't… dress minimally
House parties often have creative themes that are a lot of fun to dress for. But while dressing for your night out, keep the girls in check and make sure your dress/ skirt/ shorts is long enough to keep everything covered. While Janet Jackson’s nip-slip at the 2004 Superbowl was entertaining to say the least, you don’t want to get that kind of attention or reputation. If you are trying to go for a sexier look, think sultry not slutty. There is a definite line between dressing hot and dressing dirty… keep it classy, not cheap.
 
Do go to house parties, don't… walk back
House parties and lounge parties at Wake have two completely different party atmospheres. One is definitely more laidback and accessible than the other, but don’t let that deter you from hitting up the house parties. House parties often provide a great reason to get decked out in ridiculous outfits, but there are some precautions to attending them as well. Make sure you know whether or not the party is open form the start or if it opens up later after a mixer between a fraternity and sorority—crashing a closed mixer never looks good. Also make sure that you do not walk back to campus from an off-campus house party, especially not by yourself. It is dangerous not only because of the unknown “townies” just outside the gates of Wake, but also because you almost definitely will have to cross busy roads to get back. Be smart and just wait for one of the assigned drivers to take you back.
 
Do bring your cell phone (& key card), don't… lose or leave it at the party
Cell phones are essential to have with you at a party not only to keep track of where your friends are and what they are up to, but also as a safety measure in case you get stranded somewhere or find yourself in a tricky situation. Probably the most common mistake with bringing a cell phone is leaving it at the party (or dropping it in some various beverage). Keep track of your items so you don’t lose your hundreds of phone numbers. Also, don’t use your phone to hide at a party where you don't know many people. Stop texting when it is unnecessary and mingle with the people in front of you. You never know who you might meet.
 
Do go out for air, don't… undress on the dancefloor
We all know it, basement parties get HOT. But that doesn’t give you the okay to strip off essential layers of clothing—i.e. tights or spandex when you’re wearing a short dress or a top when you have a bandeau, bikini, or slinky tank top underneath. While the boys will love it, indecent exposure is a big ‘no-no’ at any party.
 
Do request a song, don't… harass the DJ
DJ’s appreciate when their audience has input to help them keep the party going. But it can be a pretty stressful job to man the mix-table with ten different girls each demanding different songs. Don't get upset when the next one to play isn’t Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream,” wait a while and ask again, sweetly. Remember, nobody takes nicely to rude people.
 
Do play games, don't… be a sore loser
You lost a game of pong, so what? Take it like the inner champ that you are and congratulate the other team. Or ask for a rematch. After all it is just a game and nobody likes a poor sport.
 
Do talk to people, don’t… talk about inappropriate things
‘Inappropriate’ is a tough concept to define at parties. However, there are certain things that should be left unsaid in the presence of others. Never forget that people can be caddy and people can gossip. If you talk about your latest boy escapade in front of a fraternity brother, or a girl who knows you but doesn’t know you, you never know what they might say to their friends, even if they don’t have malicious intentions. This is how rumors get spread, so bite your lip if you’re not sure whether or not to divulge potentially hazardous information.

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