*Article by Sam Smart
Coming into freshman year, every single girl worries about whether she will be able to make friends or not, even if she comes into college with her own squad. It can be so hard to find good friends who will stay loyal, and are not just keeping you around because they want something from you, or because you have all the connections to the hit parties on campus. While it may be super hard to really find that small group of true friends, even in this second semester at Wake, here are some tips to help you find your new lit, true and loyal squad:
1. Wait, Wait, Wait: Don’t be so willing to latch onto the first group of people that you meet on campus, especially if you do not feel like you fit in with this group of people. It is not worth it to stick around the group, especially if you do not share interests with them, because before you know it, you will be all alone wondering where they all went. Take your time to meet as many wonderful people as possible, and without forcing anything, your best friend group will be right there with you at the Pit, and you will have no idea how you all met or became so close, but you will be glad.
2. If you see red flags within a group, SPRINT!: If you see things within your current group of friends that you find wrong, don’t be afraid to speak up and address the issues politely or to just stop hanging out with that group of people. If they are talking bad about a person, or they are just plain rude to others, chances are that soon you will be their next topic of conversation, and they may start to turn on you. There are plenty of other people in college, so don’t feel obligated to stay with this group, just because at the present time, you may not have anyone else to hang with. It is not worth it to hang around toxic people, as they will just bring you down.
3. Your first friend group will not be your friend group for all four years at Wake: This happens to most girls. We think that the first friend group that we form at Wake is the one for our entire lives, but sadly this is not always the case. If you feel like the group that you once felt a part of is slowly starting to leave you out of things, and is also starting to drift away from you, just know this is okay and perfectly natural. Don’t feel that it is necessarily personal, it is just that they change, and maybe you changed as well, and you may discover you never were really similar to begin with. Once you notice this, take this opportunity to reach out and meet other people who may be shy or you may not have met before, even in the second semester. You have to learn to let people go, go in confidence alone, and move on to better friendships.
4. Your squad may not be a big group, it may just be one or two: The best friendships I have found come in small numbers. While it is great to have lots of friends, it is important to just find that one person, or even two people whom you can trust and go to when things get rough. College is such a hard place sometimes; emotionally, physically, and academically, and as girls, we really need our pals to get us through the breakups, failed exams and the annoying drama. You should learn to be okay with not having a whole posse around you, even if you were used to having a big crowd around you in high school.
5. Lastly, ladies, just be yourself and have fun: College is such a diverse place, and there are many different types of people on college campuses. I promise you that you WILL find your group of friends, even if the first two weeks or first few months of freshman year seem super lonely. Staying true to yourself is the best way to find the people who were meant to be in your life. By trying to be like others just to fit in may work for a while, but you will be very miserable, and unsatisfied with who you have become, and who your “friends” are. Join different clubs and organizations you like, talk to people in your hall and in your classes, and I promise that while it may take a while, you will find great friends who will be with you in the good and the bad. I know I have, and I am so glad that I was just patient, as tough as it was, and stayed true to myself.