Being in a relationship is about the emotional aspects, and also the physical ones, but there’s another special element: compatibility. Have you noticed sometimes when you spend time together and something isn’t quite right? Are there awkward lulls in the conversation? A disconnect? Here are a few signs that you two aren’t clicking.
1. Everything you do is planned ahead of time.
I know we’re all busy at Wake. Between homework and clubs and greek life, there are times it’s easier to plan out a schedule and make time for your SO. But if your relationship narrows down to meeting at Starbucks at 4pm every Tuesday and in your dorm Friday and Saturday nights…no bueno. Routine is good in a relationship but if there isn’t any spontaneity there might be a lack of chemistry and common interests between you. Also if you aren’t willing to have a more flexible schedule to see your SO, or vice versa, major red flag.
2. “But his/her personality is fantastic…”
Liking someone’s personality is great, that means your relationship isn’t superficial. But a general lack of physical attraction to your SO is not a good sign. Without reciprocated attraction, the relationship can become stale and stagnant and closeness can become difficult to achieve. Emotional attraction is the more important facet of “liking someone” but the physical helps as well. It’s not vain to want to find your partner attractive.
3. Lack of communication.
If your phone is drier than the Sahara desert major red flag! Two way communication is key to a healthy partnership. If it seems like texting is an imposition on either of your parts, you might want to re-think the trajectory of your relationship. Extraneous texting and talking during midterms isn’t to be expected but if you never hear from your SO, evaluate if you both are on the same page with texting or phone calls (if you’re into that), and if it’s a problem that can’t be resolved… Red Flag.
4 You have absolutely nothing to talk about.
Real relationships thrive on sharing thoughts, ideas, and feelings. But before you can talk about those things, you start by talking about common interests. If there aren’t any or you find that holding a conversation is really difficult, this is another sign that you aren’t compatible together. Of course, you don’t have to like the same hobbies but consider if your values and activities align. That’s the sort of compatibility that is paramount to happiness, and happiness in the relationship is uber important. If you have nothing in common, your values don’t align, and there isn’t a real spark of attraction between you two, then maybe you aren’t compatible together.
5. Way Too Different.
We like to believe that opposites attract, and sometimes that’s true, but often times like attracts like. If after the initial spark is gone and you realize that at your individual cores you two are just way too different to make things work, then you aren’t meant to be and that is just fine.
Photos courtesy of:
http://gossipgirl.wikia.com/wiki/A_Thin_Line_Between_Chuck_and_Nate
http://danentmacherpsychotherapy.com/why-are-we-still-fighting-two-inval…
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