*Editor’s Note: This article does not reflect the viewpoint of Her Campus Wake Forest. HCWFU recognizes that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.
Each school year, Wake’s campus is flooded by some new fashion trend that almost every girl takes part in. Ignoring the completely inexplicable phenomenon of how every single girl finds out simultaneously what she needs to wear to fit in, these fashion trends are more often than not absolutely indistinguishable from the ones that were popular the semester before. One semester, it’ll be cool to always be in rainboots, and the next, everyone will want to look like they’re going to/coming from the gym. Either way, here are a few fashion trends that no matter what the female support, guys will never understand and may never find particularly attractive.
- High Waisted Shorts
Guys will never understand high waisted shorts. We will never be able to understand why an entire generation of girls our age love experiencing the same sort of wedgies that we used to give each other as kids. Why do girls enjoy wearing shorts that make their thighs look bigger, their stomachs look bloated, and their hips look twice as wide? These are shorts that make asses completely disappear. At some point, Jessica Biel or Blake Lively must have worn these and made every girl across the country think they could pull them off. Either way, these shorts have brought about a sharp increase in early-onset depression in college-aged males; just as spandex, jean shorts, and even those diaper-resembling Nike running shorts get replaced by what I can only imagine my grandmother used to wear.
- Blazers
Look, regardless of what happens on New York City runways, blazers are not attractive on women. Even if they were a completely unisex item, which they have yet to become, blazers are about the most plain and boring piece of clothing out there. So by putting one on, you are basically telling guys that you are plain and boring and do not want more than the slightest glance in your direction. We get that you’re trying to be innovative, but blazers are pretty much the only unique thing guys have, so let us have them.
- Floor Length Dresses
Although these can sometimes look good on the right person, floor length dresses are pretty much in the same realm as high waisted shorts. They take something awesome (dresses) and add about three feet of completely unnecessary and restricting fabric with the sole purpose of ensuring that not a single bit of skin is left exposed. They also completely eliminate any body definition and give the appearance that you’re wearing a large sheet instead of a dress. The end result is a Woodstock-esque, floral headband-wearing girl who is forced to shuffle around due to lack of leg mobility.
- Platform Shoes
Maybe it’s just because we like to think we’re more athletic than we are, but guys cannot imagine themselves wearing a pair of shoes that they couldn’t run in if the situation required it of them. Add that to the fact that they’re pretty ugly and platform shoes are without a doubt the most confusing female footwear to guys. Sure, men aren’t generally attracted to women who are substantially shorter than they are, but platform shoes make us a lot more consciously aware of your height than we’d otherwise be. And realizing that someone who appeared to be only slightly smaller than you is in fact four inches shorter than she looks is a lot worse than noticing a five or six inch difference right away. Plus, in a life-threatening emergency, platform shoes would only weigh you down, and we can’t have that.