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Aphrodite’s Advice: Before You Love Someone Else, Love Yourself

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wake Forest chapter.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

 

One of the basic tenants of a relationship is loving the other person you’re with whether it’s a platonic love or a romantic one. Totally obvious right? The even more important aspect of a strong foundation in a relationship: Loving yourself. Having self-confidence, self-worth, and a sense of your boundaries are all necessary for healthy and productive relationships.

Here are a few ways to start loving yourself

  1. Self affirmations. Telling yourself you’re kind or intelligent at the beginning of everyday is a quick way to start believing in yourself.

  2. Appreciate the little things! Stop and smell the roses, enjoy a nice day on the quad or have a pit-sit with your friends.

  3. Be Positive! Positivity is so key to loving yourself. Being negative or thinking negative thoughts wears down your mood as well as your sense of self. Think of the glass as being  half-full instead of the inverse, half-empty.

  4. Treat yo-self. (so self-explanatory)

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in college is how to put myself first. I’ve always been the kind of person who gave to everyone except myself.  It was the same in friendships and relationships, I would drop everything for a friend or boyfriend who had a crisis or a bad day and try and fix it. I wouldn’t share my opinions with them or would cater to their every whim, and that’s not a healthy way to live. A healthy relationship requires balance. Putting others before yourself all the time creates imbalance. It’s not healthy and honestly — it’s truly impossible to maintain a relationship like that.  Any type of relationship requires give and take but also caring for one’s self as well as the other person.

It’s more than okay to be selfish sometimes and put your wants, needs, and desires first. If you want to spend less time with a friend or a significant other, it’s cool JUST TELL THEM. If your partner isn’t doing it for you in the bedroom. TELL THEM. If you need a certain kind of interaction. TELL THEM.  Don’t be afraid of communication but at the same time listen actively.

Being in a relationship can be great and amazing but it’s so much better when you love yourself and aren’t afraid of putting yourself first.

 

 

Mia Wilson

Wake Forest

Mia Wilson is a senior English and French double major at Wake Forest University. When not in class or studying frantically, she enjoys working out in the gym, catching up on the latest fashion trends and napping. Her hobbies include traveling, her Maltese Nahla and drinking Starbucks. Catch her on Instagram @mwilson__14
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Betsy Mann

Wake Forest