Freshman Horror Stories
Freshman year of college can be directly compared to Blacksburg weather: sunny one day, rainy the next; scattered with unpredictable thunderstorms; lengthy periods of cold that can’t be shaken. One weekend you’re out having the time of your life, and the next you’re trapped in your bed by the vicious symptoms of Hokie Plague™.
But here’s the deal: no matter what the weather, Blacksburg is always beautiful. Even when it’s been snowing for three days straight– yeah, sorry, that’s gonna happen– there’s a beautiful sunset every evening. In the same way, your freshman year will be amazing, even if it’s scattered with craziness.
When the crazy does hit, you might find yourself wondering something along the lines of, “why can’t I just have a normal year like a normal student?” But I’m here to tell you that the crazy is exactly what “normal” is built on around here. And to make you feel more at home, I’ve compiled a list of (anonymous) freshman horror stories from Hokies who made it out alive.
This Is What (Bad) Dreams Are Made Of
Before I share stories from anyone else, I’ll go ahead and embarrass myself first.
Imagine your worst nightmare: you show up on time for your exam but when you enter the classroom it’s dark and empty. You wake up like this:
That’s exactly what happened to me during my first ever exam week, only it was real life. I woke up at 9:30 a.m. for my 10:15 a.m. exam. I got ready, made the trek to Squires, and arrived at 10:05. At this point I had noticed that the typical crowd of dead-eyed students that can be seen attempting to inject knowledge directly into their bloodstream outside of an exam site was not present.
As it turned out, the exam had been held at 7:45 that morning. I’d gotten the times wrong and slept right through it.
After suffering a minor heart attack and crying three times, I emailed my professor who graciously let me take the exam later that day. It worked out in the end, but the stress of the situation stayed in my system for weeks.
Sketchy Professors
“I had a professor who tried to suggest erotic fiction to me,” shared S.M..
Maybe this is the kind of openness you’re looking for in an instructor. It’s always nice to have a professor that’s genuine and talks to you like you’re a real person, but S.M. was definitely not expecting to be given a link to the summer’s steamiest novel when she walked into her literature class that morning.
Bad Roommate
Having a roommate can be an amazing experience. If you get along with them, it’s like having built in friends to do everything with. However, it doesn’t work out well for everyone.
T.A. had the type of roommate who didn’t want to go out or do anything.
“She talked to her boyfriend at all hours of the night,” T.A. complained. “Loudly. I’m pretty sure I heard her talking dirty to him once.”
If you’re having issues with your living situation, don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Do what you’ve got to do to be happy.
Tests, Top Bunks, and Unexpected Butt Surgery
M.S. had a particularly bizarre experience during her freshman year that affected all areas of her life for months.
She went to the doctor for a minor issue and the doctor decided they could take care of it right then and there. I’ll spare the details, but basically they cut into her butt to perform what should have been a simple surgery but they did it wrong and she was left with an incision on one of the most awkward-to-explain locations on her body.
Unable to climb into the top bunk, she had to enlist help from others to even get into bed.
The cherry on top: it was testing season. Imagine trying to sit for two hours straight when you’ve got stitches on your bum! She was, of course, able to get accommodations for this problem, but the process of explaining her need must have been awkward for everyone.
Accidents Happen to Everyone… Just Not Usually This Bad
We all remember the first time we messed up while driving. It’s a milestone. N.W.’s first such incident happened to be while she was driving the carpool van for her sports team. Those large commuter vans can be tricky to maneuver. While in reverse, N.W. didn’t see the much smaller car parked nearby and almost plowed right over it.
The real kicker? That smaller car belonged to her Philosophy professor.
Moving Day
E.F. doesn’t remember much from her last day of freshman year. She woke up drunk in a hospital on the morning she was supposed to be moving out. Nevertheless, she made it through her freshman year alive.
The Moral of These Stories
Whatever madness you might experience during your freshman year, you’re not alone! In the famous words of our favorite forgetful fish: just keep swimming!