If you were attempting to scare off pirates, how would you go about doing so? Apparently, the British merchant navy has found the solution: Britney Spears’ “Toxic” music. The East African Coast has been attracting a lot pirates from Somalia. The Somali pirates raid the ships and kidnap crews in hopes of collecting a ransom (Kahn, Breitbart). Instead of resorting to gunfire, the British navy blasts popular Britney Spears tunes. “The speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates so as not to disturb the crew. They’re so effective the ship’s security rarely needs to resort to firing guns – as soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can,” says Rachel Owens, who is a merchant navy officer (Kahn, Breitbart). Songs such as, “Baby One More Time” and “Oops I Did it Again” are among the most effective in scaring off the pirates (I’m sure we can add “Work B*tch” to the list soon). The pirates cannot stand Western music and particularly Britney Spears seems to drive them “Crazy”. If Britney Spears has anything to do with it, she will keep dancing “Till the World Ends” while the Somali pirates steer clear of the East African Coast.
For those of you who are avid Britney haters, you may want to rethink her abilities as a musician. Britney Spears’ music, whether we like it or not, is consistently at the top of the charts. The pop princess is quite dedicated to her career. Now she is helping the world in a different way. I’d say warding off unwanted Somali pirates is Britney’s way of contributing to the geater good of society.
The Somali pirates should be growing even more nervous as Britney Spears plans to drop her newest album, Britney Jean, on December 3, 2013 (which you can pre-order now on iTunes, Amazon, or the official Britney Spears Music Store). The album is supposed to be Britney’s most personal one yet. She recently released her new song “Perfume” which is one of her favorites off the album. If you still can’t get enough of Britney, be sure to check out her Planet Hollywood Vegas show, “Britney: Piece of Me”. Tickets are on sale now!