Dear girl who’s going through a breakup,
I know how you feel. I know how every day you wake up with a pit in your stomach not knowing why and then soon remember when you gain full consciousness. I know how every night your mind trips over the times you spent together in the quiet corner of a café, in bed swaddled in sheets or walking hand and hand down towards a flock of geese and how now none of these visions seem to have meaning anymore. I know how you start crying at the whiff of a certain smell or the opening riff of a certain song and how you stifle the tears so your friends and coworkers won’t have to see. We don’t want to make a scene, do we? I know how you can’t go certain places anymore because the memories come rushing back like blood to your head when you hang upside down off of your bed. I know how you look through your closet and associate every outfit with a certain meeting, a certain feeling and catch the need to burn them all for pure sanity’s sake. But then you realize you would have no more clothes, so you burn up the prospect instead. I know how you run around campus and how your heart literally stops when you think you see them. But it’s not them, and you’re slightly disappointed that your grand reunion’s chance was canceled in that moment. I know how you make a playlist for them to play as the grand backdrop to your “grand reunion.” But you’re also too scared to invite them to their own grand reunion so the phone stays cold.
I know how you walk the streets in the rain by their building just praying they’ll pop out from the stairs and you can see their face before you turn into the fog and become just someone else once again. Are you just somebody else now? Now that you have been labeled as something someone who loved you threw away? The answer is no. You are the same person you were before they entered your life and made it a dream before tearing you to shreds. Your hands and mind that crafted the wonderful person you see in the mirror are still as marvelous and magical as they were before this time. I want to hold every girl going through a breakup’s face in my hands and say, “You are going to be okay.” Because as horrible as it is right now, it will get less horrible. Heck, at some point it will even get bearable. Yes, bearable. Can you believe it? I love you. And take as much time as you need to heal.
Love,
A girl who has been in your place, too