I am a self-proclaimed feminist, reason being I am a woman and I believe I deserve to be treated equally to my male peers. I don’t burn my bras and I still shave my legs, but that’s simply because I kinda need my bras and I personally like the way my legs feel when they’re shaved and therefore highly recommend it to anyone no matter the gender. This isn’t an article to address all the different levels of feminism. It’s simply based on how we communicate the definition of feminism.
It’s about equality. That’s all the definition of feminism is, it’s supporting equality, however not everyone views it that way. There are people out there who don’t know this definition, but if you’re reading this then you probably already knew that. You also probably know that the most common person to misunderstand feminism is a man. In writing this, I’m not saying that men don’t understand feminism because there are many who do support the movement fully because they are the product of education.
Too often, men try to participate in the conversation about feminism only to be shut down by women who respond passionately and angrily. Too often, we answer questions sarcastically because we deem them unworthy of an answer. Too often, we laugh and sneer about how they don’t understand. The truth is they don’t understand, of course they don’t understand what it feels like to walk home at night and be scared for their life, or what it feels like to be scoffed at in the gym or how it feels when decisions about your body are being made for you; but the only way that they will ever even remotely understand is if we allow them into the conversation.
Ignorance isn’t bliss, and it never has been. We need to start having these difficult discussions; we need to start educating the ignorant. It’s rare that the questions we’re asked are out of spite or meanness. It’s much more common that the questions are offensive because whoever’s asking them is just that oblivious.
The point is that if we don’t start including men in our discussion, we aren’t going to change anything. If we continue to respond to their questions with hatred and retaliation then we’re only going to strengthen the stereotype that so many attach to feminists: angry and man hating.
In order to share this discussion on feminism and on equality, we need to break down barriers and respect those who we include in this conversation. No one’s saying that we should allow a man to lead a conversation on feminism, I’m simply suggesting that the next time some kid in your gender studies class asks a question that makes you want to roll your eyes and pound his head on his desk, take a breath, be patient and explain why he’s wrong in the nicest way possible.