Dear ODU frat boys – we didn’t think your signs were funny.
Who are “we”? “We” are the college-aged women who refuse to put our drinks down at a party. We are the ones who double check our outfit before we go out in fear of attracting the “wrong kind” of attention. We are the women with our eyes wide open and purses clutched, the women who walk a little faster than usual at night on our way home from class. We are the women who are told to “take a compliment” when we are catcalled and are told we “asked for it” when something goes wrong. We are the ones who are at a ⅕ risk of being sexually assaulted during our college years – and we weren’t amused.
We weren’t impressed by the large, crass banners hung from your house that read “rOwDy and fUn hope your baby girl is ready for a good time” or “freshmen daughter drop off” or “go ahead and drop mom off too.” Your blatant misogyny and disrespect for members of your own community are completely contradictory to your mission statement, to “excel with honor” and “develop ethical leaders inspired by the principles of Love, Honor and Truth.” Tell me what you believe is honorable about informing parents of your sexually aggressive intentions of showing their “baby girl a good time.”
We feel as though your justification of the signs as male humor or “boys will be boys” is precisely the problem with today’s college rape culture. The fact that the real life problem of sexual assault, particularly in the Greek community is being masked by sexually suggestive “jokes” is not only disgusting, but alarming. The sad reality is that you are not alone in your sexist undertaking – your offensive signs were not a unique idea but one of innumerable university scandals — one of a plethora of signs that read offensive material such as “18ish to spend the night” and “Moms drink free”. Our society makes excuses for you to act this way in public because it is easier to excuse a boy in his degenerate behavior than actually teach him about the faults in treating women like sexual play-toys, easier than teaching him to support those who speak out in opposition. That’s why in your tasteless attempt at humor, there is not even a sliver of suppression of your hyper-masculine sexual desires – it’s all out there in the open, for parents, students and unfortunately for you, university administration.
So no, we didn’t think your signs were “funny,” and we are quite disgusted that you did. Not only was the incident a poor representation of the school and the fraternity, but it could have possibly been the first impression of college life for numerable freshman girls. You just taught a freshman girl why she should guard her drink at a party, why she should travel in groups and why she should fear you rather than befriend you. But do you know what the worst part is? You just taught her that a legitimate excuse for male sexual aggression is “boys will be boys.”