With the weather outside becoming more and more frightful, that holly jolly feeling seems to be creeping up closer and closer. It seems that with each year, people begin to celebrate Christmas earlier. But not all of us live and breathe Christmas cheer. Because let’s get real. Christmas is overhyped, over commercialized and overly sentimental. Bah Humbug, indeed.
Maybe you don’t celebrate Christmas? Or maybe you’re a rational person who thinks Christmas belongs strictly in December?
No matter the case, here are the five of things that all “Scrooges” know to be true.
1. Christmas Carols are so annoying
You wish that Frosty the Snowman would melt. Jingle Bells can jingle the f*ck off. Why do people sing them so loudly. Plus, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is about date rape. You’re welcome.
2. Snow is low-key kind of gross.
Guys, let’s be honest. People who like snow don’t live in snow heavy areas. Shoveling this frozen, white deviltry is the most unpleasant part of winter. Snow: it’s nice in theory, but evil in execution.
3. Hanging out with your family can be tiring
Between your great-aunt Lynda constantly talking about her divorce and uncle Jim threatening to punch anyone who takes his flask away, Christmas with the fam can be a drag. You love them with your heart and soul, but more than three days with them can go from merry to miserable very quickly.
4. People forcing their Christmas cheer down your throat
Please, please, please keep your Christmas cheer as far away from me as possible. Let me be a holiday humbug in peace while you proceed to eat tinsel.
5. Even the coldest, blackest soul in the world can’t resist a little Christmas Spirit
Even the humbugiest of us all has a Christmas memory that gives their heart the warm and fuzzies. Whether it’s drinking a mug of cocoa or curling up by the fire, a little bit of Christmas never hurt anyone. After all, it is the most wonderful time of the year for a reason.
To all the Christmas fanatics out there, love and forgive us Scrooges. We love your enthusiasm…from a distance. Stay jolly, ladies and gents. Happy Holidays!