I’m a 21 year old college student who’s been talking to guys my entire life. Whether it’s my little brother’s friends, the guys in my junior high algebra class, or my coworkers during my summer jobs I’ve ALWAYS had to interact with the opposite sex. Yet here I am, a young adult living on my own, flustered about what to do when I meet a cute guy. And I’m not the only one. My friends and I have just recently decided that we’re gonna shoot our shot instead of waiting on the guy to always make the first move, but we quickly found out that we’re not even sure how to.
I’ve seen cute guys mere feet away from me and despite my overwhelming desire to approach them, if there’s no alcohol or dance music involved I’m at a loss for what to say or how to go about it. The desire is there but what am I supposed to actually do?? There’s about 25 different answers to that question but the most important one is BREATHE. Don’t get nervous, freak yourself out, or overthink it. Staying calm and confident makes all the difference because everything else that happens after you approach him will be riding on whether or not you can hold your own. You can introduce him to you and your friends (if you’re in a group) and strike up a fun conversation. There’s no obligation to be flirty or demure, unless that’s the vibe you’re going for. In that case, by all means be flirty! be demure! But here’s the key, after you’ve been enjoying your friendly banter ASK HIM OUT. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner and a movie outing — just coffee or studying together or maybe even an invite to the wine + cheese night you host in your apartment every week. There’s nothing wrong with being the one to initiate the follow up, no matter what Jennifer Aniston in every romcom ever will tell you. Get his number, send him a text with your name while you’re still there to make sure you both have each other’s number, and then straight up tell him to text you sometime. It may seem crazy to say that directly, but creating that expectation that you’ll be waiting to hear from him does wonders.
All of this sounds simple, I know. But sometimes even the most basic things can get complicated. I’m pretty confident when it comes to guys, however, my mind tends to go blank when I’m staring straight into amazingly warm brown eyes. And once you’ve secured the bag by getting his number, feel free to reach out to him again on the day you guys agreed to hangout to just have a conversation before you meet in person. Being bold doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Some guys might be intimidated with college women who take a little initiative but those guys obviously don’t need someone as badass as you anyway so 🤷🏽♀️.