I am a major proponent of body neutrality. Despite really appreciating the general shift away from self-hate and intense judgment cast on women’s bodies, I still think there are so many issues with the “body positivity” movement that pushes women to always be 100% yippe-dee-yay about their bodies. Body positivity supports the idea that women should be happy with their bodies no matter what they look like. That being more confident in your body, regardless of how it looks, will lead to a happier existence and that complimenting yourself and others about their bodies will lead to more body acceptance and body positivity. At a glance this all seems great, right? However, the notion that women should always love their bodies is exhausting and, in many ways, still a tad bit problematic. Sometimes I don’t like that my stomach is a little pudgy, and there are times when I wish my arms weren’t so flabby. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my body intrinsically or that I don’t accept my body as it is. It just means that my body is neither good or bad. It just is.
That is body neutrality.
There’s no need for me to be in love with my body and I’m not forced to accept the way I look on days when I’m not 100% okay about my appearance. With body neutrality, rather than feeling pressure to force yourself to love every part of who you are, you get to love your body for what it is – a hard working machine that you’ve done an awfully good job of keeping alive. Body neutrality means you don’t compliment your roommate because she “looks skinny today” or the girl in your Principles of Marketing class for “having such great skin.” Their bodies are no better or worse than yours and you can love the way they look without seeing their bodies as an achievement or desirable body type to strive for.
I know this can be a hard concept to wrap your mind around. I get it, I get it. There have been tons of women (and men!) who have written articles, published books, and made YouTube series all in the name of body positivity. We’ve spent the last 5 years training ourselves in body positivity in order to overcome the immense amount of pressure society puts on us to look a certain way. But it’s about time we just live our lives and let our bodies be our bodies, not an object of desire or admiration. Instead of “learning to love your body for the way it looks” like body positivity would normally say, try learning to love your body for what it is and all the great stuff it does — like get you from point A to point B. That doesn’t mean that it’s not okay to love certain features of your body and it definitely doesn’t mean you shouldn’t compliment the women in your life; we definitely need more verbal support from the other women in our lives. It just means you consider every body as beautiful homes to our great minds and souls, nothing more and nothing less.
My favorite blog, Man Repeller, has talked about this a couple of times in the most honest and hilarious way, too, so if you wanna hear a couple of 20-something NYC writers talk about body neutrality, have at it!
Illustration by Irene Servillo from ManRepeller.com