Our experiences help shape us who we are. They’re things that can break us or make us stronger. I’ve always taught myself that no matter how bad of an experience I’ve had, I wouldn’t let it break me. Having that mentality was always something that got me through bad experiences in my life, so it was never really hard to let those bad experiences break me.
But there was one event in my life when I thought that my mentality on experiences wasn’t really strong enough… my biggest heartbreak. I’ve had my heart broken a couple of times before but this heartbreak was different. This was the heartbreaks of heartbreaks, the worst of all. The make you or break you heartbreak.
A couple of years ago I was seeing an older guy who was very intellectual and very good in bed… something I couldn’t find in guys around my age at the time. I had admired him. He was the sole reason for my happiness at the time. I was living on cloud nine. About almost a year of dating, he had dumped me. I was deeply sadden and heartbroken. To make matters worse a couple of months later, this very same guy had gotten engaged to another woman. I had thought to myself, “What was wrong with me? Why was I not good enough?”
My negative thoughts about myself were stronger than my mentality on experiences. No longer living on cloud nine, I lived in a bitter negative place. I hated the idea of happily ever after with someone, the idea of growing old with anyone…I basically hated the idea of love.
After a couple of months of living in hatred and heartbrokenness, I decided to uplift myself by surrounding myself with good company and empowering entertainment. Although I did let this heartbreak get the best of me for a couple of months, I had eventually overpowered it. My biggest heartbreak had made me into the woman I am today… a strong independent woman who no longer relies on a guy for happiness.
– HCXO!