People will go on for months and even years not realizing they are being emotionally abused. Whether it is from a significant other, a family member, or even a close friend it is important to first realize the signs, and then learn the steps to overcome. From personal experience in a relationship, I know this process can be extremely difficult and at times you might think you can never overcome feeling like you are not enough.
First thing first, realizing the signs you are being emotionally abused. If you are in a situation where someone is constantly telling you things to put you down or make it seem like it is all your fault: that’s a red flag. If at any point, you feel that you aren’t enough for that person, it is important you talk about your feelings and let them know. Talking does not always work, they may say sorry and that it will never happen again, but we have all heard that before and know it’s not true.
Along with emotional abuse often comes verbal abuse. The first time it happens, you try to tell yourself “it was just a one-time thing” and then it continues to happen. This isn’t just normal arguing and raising voices, at this point it is irrational screaming that comes from nowhere. From my experience, it only occurred after a night of drinking or going out with friends. I used to tell myself it was just the alcohol and everything was ok. But there comes a time when you realize it is not ok and you are being treated badly.
The hardest part about leaving a relationship like this is getting your self-esteem back. A great way to start getting this back is to surround yourself with strong people who always have your back. Start to do things for yourself that you love, take yourself to eat, buy yourself an outfit that you look amazing in, and listen to your favorite songs. It has taken me months to get close to where I was before my relationship started. You feel as if it will be hard to get close to anyone again because you don’t want to risk being hurt. After having your heart broken or you’ve been treated badly, you feel that no one will treat you the way you should. I can assure you, that’s not the truth. Not everyone you meet or get close to will treat you that way. I promise you that you will have people who are there for you no matter what.
If you are ever in a relationship where you feel that these signs are present, get help. If it’s your mom, your best friend, or a therapist, someone will be there to tell you that you are amazing and you can make it through it! Your family and friends will always love you and be there for you even in your darkest days. Surround yourself with people who love you and can help you get back on your feet.
The reason this information is so important, is because I do not want anyone to feel like they are alone in this world or that they aren’t good enough. Getting over someone you loved but who treated you so badly is one of the most difficult things someone can go through. You believe that staying with them through the pain is easier than losing them as a lover, or even your best friend. The truth is, you are strong than you will ever believe. Once you remove yourself from someone toxic, you will have the rest of your life ahead of you. It will take all your strength to get over them, some people can do it in days, if you’re like me it might take months. Eventually something will click in your brain and you will realize that loving yourself and being happy is more important than any relationship you will ever have. For two and a half years I let someone run my life for me, and I finally realized it was time for me to get out and so can you. I promise everything will be ok and you can make it through this!