What has happened to the “dating game”? First of all, explaining what the “dating game” is, is clearly the focus of an abundance of essays and books written by philosophers, great poets, and artists. But what has actually happened to the said “dating game”? It is hard being a college student these days trying to keep up with all of the new rules to this “dating game”.
Now most of you know, however if you do not know, this generation of college students, are a part of different type of culture. It is referred to as the “hook-up” culture. For those who do not know what a “hook-up” is, according to ABC news, “The Hook-Up [is]: When a girl and a guy get together for a physical encounter and don’t necessarily expect anything further. A physical encounter can be anything from kissing to intercourse.” In my experience, I believe that this is true in many cases. I have seen this first hand, there is a lack of individuals in this generation who actually want to commit to a real relationship. Because I have experienced this first hand, I have learned a couple tricks of the trade that help shape how to go about “dating” or what I like to call it; the “game of hooking up”.
These days the “dating game” can seem very challenging. Just being single can be very frustrating at times. In this day and age people forget to mention just how difficult this “game” is truly getting. The first thing that makes this “game” truly difficult is, the disappearing Snapchat conversations that go away once read. Then, there is the fact that most hook-ups happen when bars close AKA “drunken hook-ups”. Most importantly what makes this game the most difficult is the contacting piece. Who will contact who first? We are currently in an era where, men do not have to make an initial first move, which society was programed to before. If any of these difficulties I’ve mentioned sound familiar to you, trust me when I say it will probably get even more confusing.
The thing is, we truly do not know what is going to happen or how long this era of new dating will go for. But in the meantime, we can take our time and try to learn how to adapt to it. Which brings me to, my newest “dating game advice”. I have been coming up with this list of advice since I started my college dating experience back in 2014.
First: Don’t settle
- We can make the choice to be happy and being alone is better than being completely miserable.
Second: You Can’t Date Yourself
- This past summer, I found someone that was extremely like me. We loved the same things and strangely we acted the same. It was truly surprising how similar we were. We hung out constantly and hooked up occasionally. Yeah, were friends with benefits. However, I learned that friends with benefits shouldn’t be a thing. Here’s why, one person usually ends up catching the feels. I mean do not get me wrong, sometimes it does end good for some couples, yet not everyone. I really had to stop and think; do I really want to date myself? To me, that just sounded boring. As people, we should be exploring new things, learning new information from others, and becoming our greatest selves. That’s what we look for in our partners. My mother was right, opposites do attract.
Third: As my friend Rachel Green from Friends says: “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater”
- From my past experience, cheating sucks. But that’s just life. People do what they want and actions will follow those people. If you know a cheater, really ponder about what they could do to you in the end but, do not let past decisions change your outlook on them because some people do change. Mainly stay woke, especially if you truly like them.
Fourth: Stop and Get What You Want
- There is a time and a place. We are young and what I have learned is: I am not going to let anyone tell me I cannot get what I want, without even trying. So, stop and think about what you want. Maybe try and putting yourself out there, it can help you figure out what you want if you’re truly not sure. I truly believe a little bit of effort and encouragement can change your outlook on future success in your dating life. This pro tip also relates to your life goals too. Never forget that!
Fifth: Every Bad Encounter = Future Success
- Some dates may end VERY badly. There are some people that can completely change your feelings, but sometimes they can just plain old ruin your confidence. But, trust me do not fall into the deep darkness of giving up on your love life. You will regret the future chances that may come forward. So, you had one bad break-up, learn from it and do not let it hold you back from those nights of going out with your girlfriends. Have fun while you can. Things may seem like it is the end right now, but this feeling won’t last forever. Like the good old saying “good things take time”.
Sixth: Play The Player Before They Play You
- Fleetwood Mac once sang: Players only love you when they are playing. People sometimes say things or do things to get something that they desire. I decided to change my whole outlook on dating and decided it would be amusing to play the “players” before they could “play” me. Do not get me wrong, this is so wrong. Yet, I realized this was a great tactic for hooking up. I had to be strict with myself to not fall in traps, and mainly not fall for that person. I had to stay patient the entire time; also I had to disengage from my beliefs because sometimes playing people will hurt you more then it hurts them. In reality if someone wants more with you in the end, they will make it happen.
It may seem silly this “dating game” but it is meant to be a learning experience, I know dating is never going to be perfect but sometimes good things happen when we least expect it. We never actually want to lose in the dating game-yet it is just like our lives; sometimes you must have failure to succeed. One bad night, or a fun “hook-up”, maybe a relationship that blossoms, yet dies in the end can not stop you; you should not let the fear of losing keep you out of the dating loop.
Sources: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126813&page=1