Think back to that one relationship, that one friendship, the one that was the hardest to let go of. You knew that they weren’t good for you, you knew that you would be better off without them, but it took you a long time to actually be able to let go. You’re close friends and family told you that this person wasn’t good for you. They never liked them and now you hear them say “I told you so” and “You should have listened to me in the first place.” It’s easy to look back after the fact and see that you’re better off without them. However, in the moment, it is anything but easy. This is the truth about letting go.
The most important thing to realize when saying goodbye to someone, is that no one can make that decision except for you. Your friends, your sister, your mom, can all tell you that this person is only using you, that you can do better, that you would be happier without them in your life. That’s all great, but you’re never going to actually let go until you’re ready.
Personally, I can think of two times when this has happened. The first was in high school with a friend that I had. A lot of people saw warning signs in this friend, they found her rude, bossy, and just not a very loyal friend. I spent years defending her, after all she was one of my best friends. I didn’t see what everyone else saw until my final year of high school when this girl completely turned on me. It took some time, but eventually I let go. It was hard, she was once one of the closest people to me, but she was toxic to have in my life and when I realized this, I was happy to let her go. Yes, I still think of her from time to time, but I have been able to come to peace with our parting.
The second time would be very recently and this had to do with a boy. A boy that I met about a year ago. We never dated, but we talked all summer and I felt a connection to this person. Again, friends and family saw warning signs. They said that he didn’t want what I wanted, that he was using me, and that it was affecting my mental health. I held onto this idea of a relationship for a long time. I liked texting him, I liked the attention that I could get from him, etc. Even after months and months of people telling me to let go and me telling them that I understood, I still couldn’t do it. Because I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago that I felt comfortable letting go. It was just one more thing that he did that was a disappointment. It wasn’t anything larger than anything that had happened in the past, but it was the last straw. I told him that I was done, and I blocked and deleted his number. Any other time, I would have unblocked his number and started talking to him a few weeks later. Any other time, I would have missed him. But not this time. This time, I’m very comfortable knowing that he is out of my life for good, and that’s how I knew that I was ready to let go.
Going through these experiences, I have realized that even if you see the worst in someone and don’t want your friend or family member to be with them, you voicing this is not going to do anything. They have to realize this themselves or they are never going to be truly ready to let go.
Letting go can be hard, it can take time, and it can be almost impossible to see your life without that person. But once you finally do let go of the toxic people in your lives, your happiness and your self worth will go up. You deserve to be surrounded by amazing people that bring you up and make you feel good about yourself and never the opposite.