It’s now 2017. A lot of us have come up with new year’s resolutions, but where do those resolutions really take us? Do they reflect what we actually want in life? Are they reasonable?
It’s at this point of the year, entering the winter semester, fighting through the cold morning commutes to school, not refreshed after the winter break, that I start to reflect on what I want my life to be like.
Canadians are more susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) because we are farther from the equator and have fewer hours of sunlight. This hits university students severely, with the accumulation of school stress and the pressure to get our lives in check adding to the S.A.D.
So, what’s gonna bring you happiness?
Tony Robbins, an American life coach among many other roles, sums it up quite clearly. Everyone’s happiness is different and it follows a blueprint. When you are happy about some aspect of your life, that means that your ‘life condition’ matches your blueprint. For instance, you could be very happy with your health and body because they meet (to whatever extent) what you expect and want them to look like, whether that be weighing 150 lbs or being able to bench press 200 lbs.
When you are unhappy about something, that aspect of your life is not meeting your blueprint. For me, this is a financial concern. I am not making what I think I should be to live a satisfactory and comfortable life. I’m sure many students can relate. This brings about negative feelings including sadness, anxiety, and discouragement.
Tony Robbins also discusses hopelessness in the same talk. This comes from when your life condition is very far from your happiness blueprint. He says how this feeling of hopelessness comes with 3 options:
The first option is to blame something or someone. You didn’t get the grade you wanted in your Creative Writing class? Well the teacher’s a bitch and the program is flawed. You got fired from work? They never liked you anyway and they put too much pressure on you. It’s easy to blame others but that just leads to more negative emotions of resentment and feeling you lack control.
The second option is to change your life and your habits. You’re not at your desired weight? Then eat more veggies, drink more water, and lift more weights! This is what leads people to making new year’s resolutions in the first place. This is the easier way of improving your life and most people know that they have to change some things to make themselves happier. The hardest part isn’t actually doing the new habits but to decide to change your habits in the first place.
When you feel really helpless and nothing you can change will make you happier, then it’s time to change your blueprint. There are many cases when people expect something out of life but something dramatically tragic happens that makes their desired life impossible. This does not mean that your life is no longer worth living. This means that you have to redirect your focus and set your mind on another life scheme. Some people lose their life partner. Others lose a limb and can’t live out their sports dreams. Many unexpected things can happen in life that can lead to depression, critical anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and addiction. It’s easy to accept these negative feelings as the new normal and your new blueprint. But instead of losing hope and blaming others, find another life blueprint that will make you happy again. It takes time but it’s possible.
So what are you gonna do? Are you happy in your program? Do you feel like you don’t belong with your friend group anymore? Are you sick of being unhealthy?
New year’s resolutions are a great way to reflect on the things you want, but many people quit their resolutions early because it’s not really what they’re craving out of life. Why focus on working out 6 out of 7 days of the week when really what you’re sad about is your low GPA? Before piling up too much on yourself that you’re just gonna quit anyways, prioritize what you want out of life based on your blueprint. And when you’re unhappy with the way some aspects of your life are going, change your habits or change your blueprint.
But never settle for less than extraordinary. You’re worth it.