If you find yourself saying things like, “kill me now” when faced with an exam or “same” when you see a video of someone falling down the stairs, you’re probably suffering from a sickness I like to call “negativity.” Our generation has created a collective language of self-deprecation via social media. This negative and belittling humor plays a large role in how we see ourselves. Whether the trendy language caused the lack of self-esteem or the lack of self-esteem caused the trend, I’m not sure. What is clear is that our language is detrimental to our mental health. Take a step back from the humor of these phrases. They’re meant to be dramatic and funny, but when you analyze them, they’re just code for something darker.
“I can’t even deal with this class right now.”
Really? You can’t? Then what are you doing in college? You’re obviously intelligent enough to pursue higher education. Do you mean to be funny, excessively modest, or are you sincerely reaching out for help? Do you realize that you sound as if you’re incapable of handling your responsibilities? That isn’t something to joke about. You’re at an age when responsibilities are unavoidable and it’s time that you find it in yourself to take care of business. Start by substituting this phrase for, “this class is difficult, but I can handle it.”
“Shit, I watched seven seasons of Grey’s Anatomy last month, I’m trash.”
We’re all guilty of binge watching, but don’t lie to yourself. If you actually believe that you’re trash, you wouldn’t be finishing the thirteenth season this month. You’re using this phrase for some other reason. Perhaps you think that by acknowledging your faults, you’ll seem to stand above them. This is useless. While it’s important to recognize our faults, it’s even more important to work on them. You can’t accuse yourself of being trash without trying to clean up.
Am I being a little harsh? It’s because I truly believe in the power of changing your language. For the last four years, I’ve been working on altering my speech for the better. By eliminating “kill me now” and “fuck my life,” I’ve learned to actually express what I’m feeling and improve my life. “Kill me now” changes to, “wow, I’m pretty stressed out but I can handle it.” “Fuck my life” is now, “this sucks but things have been worse and things can get better.” Changing those words seems so insignificant until it becomes second nature. Once you naturally take a more optimistic approach to your speech, your attitude will follow. I still slip up and say silly things all the time. Sometimes I pick up phrases from the people I spend time with. I always try to catch myself before I say something stupid.
Speaking of stupid, when you use the word “retarded” or “gay” as a synonym for “stupid,” you’re the stupid one. First of all, the English language is full of a vast array of glorious synonyms for “stupid,” like dopey, brainless, obtuse, thick and nonsensical. You could even spring for the Shakespearean, “Thou hast in thy skull no more brain than I have in mine elbows.” Second, think about the type of impression you make on others when you use that sort of language. You may not believe it, but you’re devaluing gay and intellectually disabled people. Essentially, your correlation of these words demonstrates your belief that those people are flawed and stupid based on their sexuality or disability. It’s a real brainless thing to do; cut it out.
Oh, no! Political correctness! Ding, ding, ding! Stop reading this article because the author is just an idiot who wants everyone to eat glitter and poop rainbows! This, reader, is untrue. Political correctness used to be called “manners.” But that’s not what my article is about. This is about using language to make your life better. If you want to be happy in your own skin, you must speak to yourself in a positive way. If you want to have friends, you must be careful about the things you say. This is common sense. Change your language. Stop lying to yourself. Stop beating yourself up for humor’s sake. Lift yourself up, rise above the trendy bologna, and change your life.