1. Everyone looks so young
In the rare moment that your down-turned eyes lift to engage the sprawling world before you, you allow a grimace to cross your face. When did I stumble onto an elementary school campus? Who are these children on my campus? The incoming classes arrive on the scene with their doe eyes and clean hair, every year sharpening the contrast between the young and the old, you being the old. They are smiling and eager, their faces bright with promise, their bodies slim in the absence of the impending freshman 15. The grizzled corpse that is your war-hardened body limps among them, traveling undauntingly toward graduation.
2. You know everybody
You can’t enter a single classroom without recognizing at least a handful of people, probably the exact handful you had hoped to leave behind last semester. They see you around campus, they know where you work, they drink where you do, and they are patently inescapable. They know that you wore that outfit in your Monday/Wednesday class and have no business wearing it around your Tuesday/Thursday people. They know too much and they know you. At least you’ll have a built-in study group and a couple dozen witnesses to your whereabouts in case you ever need an alibi.
3. Nothing impresses you
If your eyes are open, they are constantly rolling. Scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, reading all of the “can’t wait to see what this chapter holds” posts make you audibly sigh. Even hearing your peers rattle off the tedious details of their demanding schedules leaves you yawning. The grind is familiar and uninspiring at this point. Every day is just another set of tasks crossed off in your planner that propel you closer to the conclusion of this hell. I’ll be impressed when I don’t tackle the person handing over my degree.
4. You are absolutely shameless
There may not be a stitch of make up on your face and, yes, this is the shirt you wore yesterday. These people are lucky you even brushed your hair. Who are you trying to impress, anyway? Your diet is a refined mix of Taco Bell and self-loathing. You might be late for class, but nobody is surprised to see you toting enough food to feed the rollercoaster of emotions that accompany every day. You are the reason the lecture hall smells like Chick-fil-a and dry shampoo. Wear your grungy aesthetic with pride. You’ve earned it.
5. You can recite the Argo Arrival event calendar in your sleep
This is not your first time around the block. When confronted with cheery volunteers with outstretched arms that are punctuated by Argo Arrival fliers, you casually raise a hand in refusal. You are the flier. Target After Hours on Friday, Beach Bash on Sunday. Easy stuff. The ticker tape marching across your brain provides a constant, instinctual reminder of the upcoming events presented by the university. Consequentially, you also know that you can put off grocery shopping for another week because you know the exact GPS coordinates where all the free grub is being provided.
6. You don’t know the date, but you know how many days there are until graduation
The innocent question of “what day is it” is met with your vacant stare and something along the lines of “13 Wednesdays until graduation” before shuffling away, muttering to yourself. The only significance in the passing days and nights is how much closer you are inching toward your diploma. Only a little over a hundred days to go!
Thumbnail photo by Alesia Kazantceva on Unsplash