Friends are amazing. Sometimes it’s tough telling them how much you really love and appreciate them (unless you’re wine drunk at 3 a.m.!). Compliments can be awkward to begin with, so giving them to your BFF can sometimes sound unauthentic. Here are three ways to lift your friends moods and be a truly positive friend.
1. Be a motivator
If you know he or she has been working hard to achieve a goal in their life, ask how you can help to make it easier. Instead of saying “Congrats on losing weight!” try getting involved and say, “You’re looking great! Can I start going to yoga with you?” Or, if you know they have an important interview coming up, don’t just tell them “good luck,” ask if they want to practice their interview with you.
2. Show instead of tell
Be sure to always follow through with plans. If you have to cancel make sure you reschedule and have a legitimate excuse. Remembering small details about them shows that you listen to them. For example, have their favorite kind of snacks when they come over for movie night or suggest to eat at their favorite restaurant.
Another simple way to show your friends how much you value their friendship is to tag them in memes. It might sound dumb, but I love when my friends tag me in funny things and say “Idk why but this made me think of you.”
3. Remember important dates/events
Aside from their birthday, an event you should definitely know, try to remember other important events that might be happening for them. Ask them how the test that they were up all night studying for went. If they are applying for graduate schools, know where they applied, their top choice, and when they will hear the decisions. That way, you can be supportive the whole way through!
4. Be comforting
College is a very stressful time; especially if you’re balancing it with a job, clubs, or sports. If your friend has had a bad day, be there to comfort them and let them rant. If you disagree or think they’re overreacting about how bad their co-worker is, simply listen.
Everyone is different so use personality cues to understand your friend. For example, they may just want someone to listen or they may need your validation or opinion. Be kind and understanding when you give your feedback if that’s what they need.
5. Be the support system
This one is similar to the last tip. But, sometimes our friends may go through a more serious situation than just a stressful day at work. If your friend goes through a serious break-up or a death in the family, it is important to be their support system. Again, everyone is different and you need to pay attention to cues on how they need you to be there for them.
Listen to them and talk about what’s going on (if they want to!). Offer to get them out of the house; even if it’s just to go to the gym or grab coffee. Do their dishes or pick up groceries for them so they don’t have to. Little things like this will really help them get through a difficult time and they will remember how you were so supportive.
Overall, it’s the little things about being a friend that your BFF will notice. You’d be surprised at how the smallest thing can help spread positivity to the person in your life you just can’t live without.