To self,
February is the month of love. This is the month when we are surrounded by pink hues and everything is heart shaped from our decor to our candy. Romance shoots out at us like arrows from all directions. However, it is important to completely love yourself, before you even try to love another.
Be a good friend and make sure to be kind of your family. While it is important to love like you never seen pain before, it is not a bad idea to find enough love for yourself. You do not need to always burn yourself to keep others warm. Candles are merely replaced when burnt out. Also, it definitely is not a good thing to get burnt out from a personal standpoint.
Life certainly hasn’t been too easy on you on overall, and I am truly sorry about that. Despite it all, you have managed to keep your head up and continue fighting throughout. Be proud of yourself over that. You are always needlessly hard on yourself. Someday, all your pain, hurt, and frustration will make sense. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and someday, all of this would be worth it. Remember how you cried for hours at a stretch when you did not get into the Gifted Education Programme (GEP) in grade 3. Fast forward 11 years, you are clearly doing fine in a reputable public university in US. Not to forget, you met your best friends who have stayed by your side for the past 10 years or more exactly because you went through the mainstream.
You are so strong my dear. You have been through a lot and come out on the winning end. The world has tried to break you, but you never let it. Thank your past, for it has made you into a better person today. You are in the exact place you are meant to be right now. So breathe, be patient, and trust the course of your life. It is certainly not a bad idea to not hold on to the expectations you have created in your head so strongly and embrace life as it comes. You kind of went with the flow in grade 11 and 12 and it did not turn out so bad, did it?
You are perfect in every way, especially with your flaws. Accept the things that make you different, while embracing everything that makes you unique. Even though you think you are broken, there is so much beauty in your pain. Also, you’re really not as broken as you think you are. You are stronger than anything that has tried to tear you down. You are a survivor, not a victim. So with that, try not to be so hard on yourself, we both know you’re doing the best you can, given the circumstances. Tough times don’t last but tough people do. Remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel and the darkest hour is right before dawn.
Don’t take everything so personally and let others get you down. Most of the time, things have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the other person. When people hurt you, try and think from their shoes. Forgive them. Learn from their wrongdoings, and then let it remain in the past. Not everything is always how it appears.
Create a meaningful life for yourself that you can be proud of. You are doing a good job with Yugen and everything you are currently working on to make the Earth a slightly nicer place to live in. It is not wrong to fall or get doubts but remember to get up. Promise me, you will make the most of it all. Never let anyone get in the way of your goals in life. More importantly, never give up on your passions and your dreams. Do not waste your time on people who do not believe in you. You don’t need anyone like that in your life. Only surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you.
Not everyone is meant to stay around forever. People will leave you and you will also leave others. People will disappoint you, and all you can do is learn to appreciate them for what they have taught you. Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. Lessons should not encourage you to close your heart but instead open your heart by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. How would you be able to improve if you were exposed only to perfect people. Never forget to thank the people who have stayed and fill the spaces of those who left. At the end of the day, all you are guaranteed is yourself, never forget this. Stop worrying so much about stupid boys. There is so much more to you than being someone else’s girlfriend or wife. Frankly, there is so much more to life than a guy. Be patient, and stay positive, while waiting for love. Just because you have not found it yet, does not mean you don’t deserve to be loved.
You deserve the world and even a little more. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are everything. You are all. Try not to rely too much on others for your happiness and as mentioned previously, gracefully let go of the things and people that are not meant for you. Accept things the way they are. Thank you for never giving up and being so tough. You inspire others and you lift them up. Stay strong. Stand up tall. Be more beautiful than ever. Make them wonder how you do it. You know you deserve the world, now go get it.