During my college career thus far, I have learned many, many lessons. Although each one has bettered me as an individual, there’s one that has truly resonated with me.
Ever since I was younger, I have always been drawn to people. Sporting events, crowds, parties, social groups, anything related to it. When I got to college, I was really attracted to the social aspect that came with it. The idea of making dozens of news friends and going out every weekend was something I wanted, or so I thought at the time. However, somewhere in the mix of it all, things changed. I no longer craved people’s company 24/7 and I felt myself just as satisfied spending time with myself as I did around others. I took this opportunity to do things that I wanted to do and stopped feeling as though I was obligated, or even restricted, to hang out with people.
In this day and age, there seems to be a certain stigma around being alone. We’re brainwashed into thinking that the kid eating alone or the girl who chooses to do the group project individually is weird, when in reality maybe we’re the weird (even boring and safe) ones for conforming to one another so often. There’s something extremely intriguing, exilharating, and respectable about this sort of independence. It demonstrates that an individual is truly comfortable in their skin and doesn’t rely on anyone else to feel whole, and that to me is very admirable.
Spending time with oneself is something we don’t see too often in our society, especially amongst us young people. We walk with people, study with people, exercise with people, and practically eat, sleep, and breath with people. It’s rare to witness this one on one time with ourselves. We emphasize time spent with others, but never with ourselves. “College is a time to find your bridesmaids.” “These are the best times of our lives so go have fun.” “Friends this…..friends that.” While I wholeheartedly believe that these things are essential during this moment in time, I think the priority of gaining an understanding of who we are as individuals is terribly overlooked. The sad reality is that after college (even though you may keep in contact with certain friends), you will be somewhat on your own in this world. What happens after these four years (or longer) is sort of scary, but doesn’t have to be if we are confident in the person we exist to be.
I rememeber a time when I was who I was from the collaboration of people I surrounded myself with. Although it was not necessarily a negative thing, I realized that I had little left for myself. What happened when people decided to leave and I was lost in a sea of unknown because I chose to focus more on others than myself? I lost who I was.
Being by yourself is refreshing for numerous reasons. It helps us interpret our emotions and give us a sense of recognition. Also, it helps us establish what makes us happy apart from the other variables at play, such as other people and their interests. In a world that tries so hard to make us do otherwise, it’s imperative to do what we enjoy.
With all this being said, go be alone. Go to a book store and read your favorite book in a cozy corner. Go for a long walk on a warm sunny day and think about the future. Go to that movie you’ve been dying to see but no one offered to go with you. Go enjoy your beverage of choice at a coffee shop as a no-name band performs. Go do things that make you happy. Go do things that help you understand you. Go be alone and watch what happens.