Last week, Taylor Swift released her much anticipated sixth studio album, Reputation. Unlike the musician’s past albums, the last of which was released in 2014, this one promised a new Taylor, in a defensive, vaguely threatening debut single declaring the “old Taylor” dead. Since her first wildly successful foray into pop music with 1989, America’s sweetheart, who once pulled off a very convincing surprised look as she raked in her billionth Grammy, has had a fall from grace. I am, of course, talking about her feud with Kanye West, that has been discussed to such an absurd degree that I am not even going to bother getting into the details. Anyway, this time TSwift knew she had something to prove, and her in-your-face lyrics in “Look What You Made Me Do” suggested that she had no plans to apologize.
Now, me and Taylor go way back. She has been with me through basically every stage of my growth, from acting out the “Love Story” music video with my sister at age 12, to crying to “All Too Well” in the car with my mom on the last day of high school, to debating the inspiration behind songs on 1989 with my roommate in my First Year dorm. Needless to say, I was eager to hear the new album, especially since anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I spent most of summer 2016 gossiping about the Taylor/Kanye/Kim Kardashian drama. After hearing some of her singles, I definitely had mixed feelings, but I can now say that after a week of listening, I am a big fan of Reputation.
Without further ado, below is my ranking of the songs on the album, along with accompanying GIFs to help you visualize my reactions.
*Disclaimer: I have no actual critical knowledge of music whatsoever. I just like Taylor Swift and have a lot of feelings about this album.
15. …Ready For It?
My sister thinks it’s funny how much I hate this song. I don’t even have a good reason, I just do. The ridiculously anticlimactic drop gives me “this sick beat” PTSD.
14. So It Goes…
I don’t even remember what this one sounds like and I listened to it this morning.
13. Look What You Made Me Do
Honestly, I loved this when it first came out. I was a big fan of empowered Tay standing up to her haters. It’s really only ranked this low because I like some of the other songs so much more.
12. End Game
I think other people like this one TBH, but it just confuses me. I didn’t ask for Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran rapping together. And what is Future doing here? Did anyone actually think there was a major crossover between Taylor and Future’s fandoms?
11. Call It What You Want
Just kind of boring. See “So It Goes…” for reference.
10. Gorgeous
I really didn’t like this song at first. In fact, I specifically remember making fun of it and its silly lyrics with my mom. What can I say? It’s catchy and it has grown on me.
9. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
Taylor has decided to embrace her sexier side like any 28-year-old woman probably should, but I cannot get used to it. I think I like it. I just want to know WHO has turned her bed into a sacred oasis?
8. I Did Something Bad
I’m starting to get a little tired of petty Taylor, but this is definitely a banger.
7. King of My Heart
Okay, so it is funny to hear TayTay say “You move to me like I’m a Motown beat,” for obvious reasons. Once you get past that, this song is GREAT and the chorus is constantly stuck in my head, but like, in a good way.
6. This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Forget what I said before! I *live* for petty Taylor! This song is so funny! “Blank Space” 2.0.
Side note: It seems like she has become a minor alcoholic since her last album came out. When has she had the time to party like Gatsby between breaking up with attractive British men and hiding to escape the public eye after being exposed by Kim K?
5. Dress
The return of sexy TSwift! “Only bought this dress so you could take it off?” Dirty, and totally out of character, but I like it.
4. Delicate
This one reminds me a little bit of a mix of Lorde, Selena Gomez, and Halsey. So basically a perfect pop song.
3. Getaway Car
I think the reason why I like this song so much is because it sounds like something straight off of 1989. It’s like “Out of the Woods,” but better.
2. New Year’s Day
Your girl loves a good Taylor Swift ballad, and this one is especially amazing. I would not recommend it to anyone who is susceptible to crying to ASPCA commercials or sitcom series finales that they have watched hundreds of times before. Already, I have cried over it with my roommate twice and relentlessly attempted to convince my boyfriend to listen to it (to no avail, of course). I probably should stop listening, but it is just SO GOOD.
1. Don’t Blame Me
This song. Is such a jam. I don’t have anything legitimate or witty to say about it. I just listen to it about 30 times a day and that has to mean something, right?