The rain beats down on my windshield as the Fleet Foxes song plays on the radio. Ah, soothing. What a cozy, rainy day. Then out of nowhere, an abrasive WHEEEEK! And then my eardrums die as my squeaky windshield wipers sound with a screech. As if my ear drums hadn’t suffered enough in the past 2.5 seconds, a loud, “Welcome to Caine’s, where the chicken is fresh and hot, Hot, HOT! I’m Jeremy how may I help you todayyy?!!” hits my left ear. I am taken aback by this overwhelming level of enthusiasm my new pal Jeremy is projecting at me via a drive thru intercom. I haven’t even seen what Jeremy looks like, but I can already tell through his exuberant energy that he is either hopped up on cold meds, highly sarcastic, or genuinely loves working the Caine’s drive through. I finally pull forward and meet this new friend. He is donning the bright red Caine’s uniform and glasses, and he genuinely seems happy. He asks how I am doing and I reply, “I’m well. How are you?” His face changes to one of pure surprise and shock. “Thank you for asking!! I’m great!” is his response. I’m guessing Jeremy doesn’t see many customers actually take the time to ask about him. This small exchange gives me a sort of warm feeling, and for some reason makes me feel like a better person. I place my Caine’s in the front seat and dissolve into laughter as I drive away.
Several days later I find myself in a similar situation at Bellair Market. A couple marches up to the counter to order, and when the sandwich man asks them how they are, they immediately ignore his question and spit out their order, not even making eye contact with this poor man who is responsible for making their lunch. When it is my turn to order I make a point to ask him how he is and wish him a good day, in an attempt to apologize on behalf of the rude customers earlier.
A couple hours later I’m out of breath and struggling to position my feet in the correct crevice so I can scramble upwards. The boulders are the only thing between me and the top of good ol’ Rag Mountain. My short stature is clearly not of help during this part of the climb, and I find myself clinging onto smooth rocks praying that the brightly colored rocks I am used to at the climbing gym will appear. Mentally I am telling myself I can’t do it, or that I need help, but with nowhere to go but up, I leap onto the next rock aiming to get as much as my body as possible onto the rock. One, two, three go! I land on the rock with my body sprawled over as much area as possible, and I am full of elation I did not fall through the crevice. This continues for thirty more minutes until I finally reach the top. Even on a random Tuesday we pass many other hikers who all greet us with a friendly, “Hello! How are you?” My friends and I are all out of breath, sweating, and can only think to use all of our energy to make it to the top without falling off the mountain. How dare these people ask us a question and think we would have the time, or even care to answer? “Uh ahh gooddd” is all we can sputter out as we keep our focus ahead.
While I’m happy I saved the oxygen by not really responding, I am so angry at myself for not really responding. I was talking “at” these people who were just being friendly, as opposed to really talking “to” them. Between all of the fresh air I was consuming and the endorphins I was scoring with all of this physical activity, I should have been ecstatically responding to every hiker I passed, practically singing from the mountaintop how happy I was to see them and be acknowledged by them! I envision myself dressed in perfect Lululemon track Capri’s and a fitted, fierce colored track jacket. My hair looks perfect, my cheeks are flushed, and I greet each hiker with “I am FANTASTIC How Are YO-ooooo-uuuuu?! Yodeloooooo!!!” When in reality I am out of breath in my layers of t-shirts, rolling my eyes, responding with a muttered “hey?”
Think about it. Every day we have these interactions with complete and total strangers. It could be that kind soul that holds the door for you at Alderman, the barista at Starbucks, the checkout guy at Clemons, or even Jeremy at Caine’s. Even when we greet these random acquaintances, be it our estranged first year roommate in the AFC bathroom or that guy you may have flirted with first year in ENWR, and we rarely ever talk “to” them. All it takes is just an extra five seconds of our lives to actually listen to them and reply to them with a real answer when we are asked how we are doing. It is one of the easiest things we can do each and every day, and I can assure you treating other human beings with just a touch more politeness and decency than you have shown in the past will transform you. You’ve been told your whole life that it’s the little things in life that count, and I truly believe you are on your way to a better “you” each and every time you treat anyone and everyone you encounter in a day with just that much more kindness and openness. Thank you Jeremy for being that better person and for reminding me the importance of really listening and talking “to” someone, instead of always “at” them.
I’m well, thank you for asking! How are YOU?